Abducted
by darkclocks
Summary: We know basically nothing the upcoming April episode Sunk Cost Fallacy with Cabot's return other than a woman and her daughter are abducted. So, based on those details alone, here will be the equivalent of an episode over a handful of chapters. This will be an AO story (though, just an episode-ish worth).
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: We know basically nothing about the upcoming April episode Sunk Cost Fallacy with Cabot's return other than a woman and her daughter is abducted. So, based on those details alone, here will be the eqivalent of an episode over a handful of chapters._

 _With SMarch returning for the episode, I'm newly inspired. So I'm starting here and want to get a couple other outstanding stories completed. Hopefully this is the inspiration I need._

* * *

 **ABDUCTION**

"So, how long has this woman been missing?" Olivia asked her team as they gathered around the table with a case file on the table and a driver's license photo on the TV screen.

"At least two days," Rollins said. "Her boss called after she didn't show up to work for two days straight at the hospital. I guess he sent another worker over to her place because it was unlike her to not show up. She's been out sick for a couple of days with her daughter, so when she didn't show up on the first day back, they figured maybe her daughter was still sick and she had called and the message didn't get to the right person. They tried calling, but I guess just once.

"Apparently she's worked as a lab tech for over 10 years, never missed a day of work until her last year when her daughter got real sick. Sounds like they've been real supportive of her and genuinely care about her," Rollins continued.

"Do she have any friends there?" Olivia asked. "Someone who may know where she goes? What about the child's father?"

"No one she's too close with, at least one outside of work," Carisi said. "And the girl's father apparently took after shortly after Brandi - our vic - found out she was pregnant."

Olivia put her hand over her chin as she did while she was thinking.

"Look, we've checked with neighbors, everyone we could think of," Rollins said. "Same story. They all loved her, saw her frequently. She was friendly. Never said a hateful word about anyone. Lived in her apartment for at least 7 years. But...she kept to herself mostly."

"She had been seeing someone last year, lasted for several months, a year maybe, but her co-workers seemed to think they broke up before Christmas," Carisi said.

"Got a name?" Olivia asked.

"No. Like Amanda said, she kept to herself," Carisi said. "She usually only talked about her daughter. In fact, the only reason her co-workers even knew she had been dating someone was because of the flowers she'd sometimes get at work."

"Any other family?" Liv asked.

"A mother upstate," Fin finally chimed in. "I'm trying to track her down, but the number Brandi listed on her emergency contact is disconnected, of course, it hadn't been updated in 10 years. But I have a name, so I got some locals up there checking on her."

"I don't like this," Liv said. "I mean, maybe she just went to visit her mom or something. But with a sick child and no trace of her..."

"I know," Rollins said. "I got dispatch checking on any calls from her neighborhood, and we've already checked other hospitals. She's just gone."

"Money problems? Dating problems? Drugs?" Liv said. "Anyone been threatening her."

Rollins shook her head. "She had a good job, at least made enough to support herself and her child and money in the bank. Nothing unusual in her bank records. Doesn't seem to be in any major dead, just a small balances a credit card. Even the relationship seemed to end amicably and hospital drug tests at least yearly. Never failed one and none of her co-workers or neighbors have ever seen any unusual behavior. Also, no reports of anyone threatening her."

"What about her apartment?"

"Waiting for the landlord to get back this afternoon. He was out of town," Carisi said. "Supposed to be able to get in this afternoon."

"Ok, well, the sooner, the better," Olivia said. "There has to be something there that tells us where this woman and her child is. And Fin, keep trying with the mother. Maybe Brandi talked to her about her life."

"Sure thing, Liv," Fin said as everyone left the table to go back to their desks and get on the phones.

Liv headed back to her office when a patrol officer came in.

"Here's the stuff from the locker at the hospital you asked for," the young officer told Rollins, handing her a bag of items and left.

The detective emptied it on the table while Liv joined her.

"Brandi's stuff?" Liv asked and Rollins nodded while digging through the items.

A set of scrubs. Gum. Midol. Packaged peanut butter crackers. A card that looked like it came from flowers. A scrap of paper with a phone number. Photos of her daughter.

Olivia picked up the paper with the phone number and dialed the number. Rollins opened the card envelope.

"Anything?" Rollins asked after Olivia hung up the phone.

"Voicemail full," Olivia said with an eye shrug. "What do you have on that?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Rollins said. "Bon anniversaire! XOXO. There's a little squiggle doodle under the hugs and kisses, too … Happy Anniversary?"

Rollins handed Olivia the card.

"Happy Birthday. It's French," Olivia said.

Rollins gave her a weird look. "I didn't know you spoke French."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Olivia said. "Besides, as little as I've used it, I'd hardly say I spoke it."

Rollins nodded.

"Check with TIRU on this phone number," Olivia said.

"Got it, boss," Rollins said.

#

That afternoon, Fin finally got ahold of Brandi's mother and Carisi found out that Brandi's landlord was almost back, but stuck in traffic.

"The mom lives about two hours from here, but is visiting a friend about an hour away," Fin said. "She doesn't drive though and was more than a bit panicked when she found out her daughter was missing. I couldn't get much out of her on the phone. She was a mess."

"Can she come down? Someone drive? Maybe she can help," Olivia said.

"She said she doesn't have anyone to drive. She took the bus to her friend's house. I guess she doesn't drive either. Both older women," Fin said. "You want me to tell her to get on a bus?"

"How about you and Rollins go get her?" Olivia said. "That way you can you can use the time back to see what she may know."

Fin and Rollins nodded.

"Carisi, where's your landlord?" Olivia said.

"My landlord?" Carisi said.

"Not YOUR landlord," Rollins said. "Our vic's landlord, dummy."

"Oh, he's uptown. I guess there is a pileup and he's trying to make it back down," Carisi said.

"How about you go to him. Maybe some lights and sirens will get you around the pile up a little easier and get that key," Olivia said. "Until we talk to Brandi's mom and get into her apartment, we have zero to go on."

"Except for her French lover," Rollins said.

"Well, I could have written that for all we know," Olivia said. "Who knows how many people in this city speak enough French to fake it, or at least Google it to impress a girlfriend."

"Fair enough," Rollins said.

"Carisi, go get the landlord or just the key, I don't care," Olivia said. "I'll head over to her apartment and see if I can get anything else out of the neighbors."

#

Half an hour later, Fin and Rollins were on their way to pick up Brandi's mother, and Olivia arrived at Brandi's apartment building, looking for anyone coming in or out that she could talk to. After seeing no one, she turned the handle to Brandi's door. Locked. She then knocked on the door adjacent to Brandi's apartment.

"Can I help you?" an elderly lady said, barely cracking the door.

"Hi. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm Lt. Olivia Benson with NYPD," Olivia said holding up her badge so the lady could see it through the crack. "I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about your neighbor, Brandi."

"Oh, of course," the lady said, closing the door enough to undo the latch and let Olivia in. "Is she ok?"

"Well, that's what we'd like to find out," Olivia said. "Did she ever have any visitors?"

"Not too much," the lady said. "I'm not very nosy, but Brandi was quiet. I mean, sometimes Amber, her daughter, I think that's her name, would get a little loud, but Brandi would always come over and apologize or bring flowers or something if she thought she disturbed me."

"Did it ever disturb you?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, heavens no," the woman said. "Besides, when anything gets loud around here or outside the window, I just turn this down." She pointed to her hearing aid. "To be honest, I probably keep my TV louder than my neighbors would like." She smiled shyly.

"So, in the 7 years or so she lived here, she never had visitors?" Olivia said. "Did her mom visit? Any friends? Boyfriends?"

"Oh, I've never seen a man over there. Her mom used to visit more often, but I think, like me, she's getting up there in age," the woman said. "She had one friend who used to come by quite a bit, but I haven't seen her in a while."

"Do you know her name?" Olivia said. "To be honest, we're having a hard time finding many people that knew her outside of work. We do have her mom coming down today."

"I don't know her name," the woman said. "She was very beautiful. Dressed very nice, too."

"When did you last see her, this woman?"

"Oh, it's been a few months. Maybe two or three," she said. "Actually, wait. When did they have that music show? The awards."

"The Grammys?"

"Yes, I think that's it," the woman said.

Olivia pulled out her phone and checked the date. "January 28 this year?"

"That sounds about right," the woman said. "I stayed up later than normal because I love music, even I don't much understand what they're saying in the songs these days. But I watch just so I know what to talk to my granddaughters about. Anyway, I remember that was on because I turned my hearing aid up a bit so I didn't have to turn the TV up louder – I was afraid I'd disturb the neighbors. But, I think they had an argument. I've never heard Brandi so much even raise her voice, but there was definitely an argument then."

"Between Brandi and this woman?"

"I think so. I saw them come in earlier with Amber," she said. "And when I went to check the lock later that night, I heard some voices outside the door, quieter, so I opened it just to see who it was. They were talking quietly at the door and then the blonde lady left."

Olivia took some notes. Adding more detail about the woman – blonde hair, pretty, well dressed.

"I never saw the woman after that," the lady said. "To be honest, and I'd never want to start rumors, but if not for her daughter, I would kind of think she was … well, you know, likes women better than men."

"Oh," Olivia said, already wondering about the relationship between the women. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, like I said, I never saw any men around here. And I guess early on, when she first moved in, there were a few women that would come around, but only one at a time, and just for a few months or so. Of course, what do I know," she said. "But, it just seemed … seeing these two together, that maybe there was something. But I guess she did have a husband or boyfriend at some point cause she has a daughter."

"Well, you may be right. I mean, sometimes it takes people a little longer than others to figure out what they prefer," Olivia said. "Do you know anything about Amber's father?"

"No," she said. "I asked once, early on, and she was kinda short with her answer. Just that he wasn't involved. Never saw anyone, never heard her mention it. Probably hard on the girl though, growing up not knowing your dad."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Olivia said, internally taking a bit deeper of a breath.

"When was the last time you saw Brandi?" Olivia continued asking questions.

"It's been a few days," the woman said. "I teased her and asked if she was going on a date. She was in a very pretty dress."

"What did she say?"

"Just that she was having dinner with an old friend," the woman said. "I guess that was three days ago."

"Where was Amber?"

"I think the young mom across the hall kept her," she said. "Occasionally they watched each other's kids. Though, I think Brandi watched Megan's kid more than Megan watched Amber."

Olivia looked down at a text message from Carisi: Heading up now with the key.

"Well, you've been very helpful, Ms….?"

"Peters. Margaret Peters," she said. "Will you please let me know when you find them? I've worried myself sick since I heard they were missing. Both were just the sweetest girls."

"I will," Olivia said. She smiled, motioned for Margaret to stay seated. She showed her way out and caught Carisi as he got to the top of the stairs.

Carisi pulled out the key and put it into the lock, turning it back, then forth. He scrunched his face and looked at Olivia.

"What?" she asked.

"I think it was already unlocked," he said.

"I checked it when I got here, probably half-hour ago," she said. "Just in case."

Carisi put his hand on his and gun, and the two of them slowly opened the door.

"NYPD. Is anyone here?" Carisi said.

From the bedroom, they heard a thump like a book closing and then silence for a moment.

Olivia looked at Carisi and whispered.

"Someone's here," she said.

* * *

 _It's Tuesday night (late), so I'll do my best to get chapter 2 up by Thursday evening._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Delivering a night early because I love you people and appreciate all the kind words._

 _If you're new to my stuff, I build into things...so, no one is jumping in bed or professing love just yet._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2**

 _Carisi put his hand on his and gun, and the two of them slowly opened the door._

 _"NYPD. Is anyone here?" Carisi said._

 _From the bedroom, they heard a thump like a book closing and then silence for a moment._

 _Olivia looked at Carisi and whispered._

 _"Someone's here," she said._

Olivia and Carisi moved slowly toward the bedroom. The door was slightly open. Liv nodded toward Carisi to push the door open while she pulled her gun out and pointed it just in case someone tried to get the drop on them.

As Carisi opened the door, it suddenly swung open, taking the officers by surprise when a woman appeared.

And not just any woman.

"Alex?"

Carisi looked at his boss bewildered. The woman, Alex Cabot, looked just as surprised to see her old friend standing before her with a gun pointed her way.

"Jesus. You scared me," Alex said.

"You know her?" Carisi asked Olivia, who was still stunned and still holding the gun on her friend, but mostly out of the shock of not understanding why Alex was in the missing woman's apartment.

Olivia didn't respond right away to Carisi so Alex spoke up.

"Yes, we go back a few years," Alex said. "Can you put the gun away now, Liv?"

Carisi immediately noticed the woman saying "Liv" and the seeming comfort between them.

Olivia lowered her gun but didn't put it away just yet.

"What are you doing here Alex?" she asked.

"I...," Alex paused, considering her words given the situation. "I have a key."

"Ok." Liv was frustrated by the answer but also knew why Alex wasn't telling freely. It didn't look good. "Why do you have a key?"

"I ... know Brandi."

"Alex, stop. Just help us clear this up," Olivia said, finally putting her gun back in the holster and relaxing in the hope it would relax Alex.

"Can we talk in private, Liv?" Alex said, glancing at Carisi.

Carisi looked at Olivia to get an indication of what she wanted him to do. She nodded.

"Give us a minute, detective."

"Sure thing Lieu," he said. "I'll just be in the hall of you need me."

He turned and left and Olivia and Alex moved toward the couch.

"So, how do you know Brandi and why are you here?" Olivia said again.

"She's my ex," Alex sighed. "I'm here because her mom called frantically and told me Brandi was missing."

"So you came here instead of the police?"

"She said the police told her. I was just trying to be helpful... See if she left anything here to indicate where she is."

Olivia sighed this time. She believed Alex, but it didn't look good, especially with the information about a fight the neighbor mentioned.

"I know how it looks, Liv. I've been around the block, but you have to believe me."

Olivia sighed again, thinking back to Brian showing up at her apartment covered in blood and the trouble she could have gotten into.

"You know you'll have to come down to the precinct, be formally questioned."

Alex nodded. She knew.

"You can bring an attorney if you want."

Alex shook her head. "That won't be necessary, right?"

"I hope not," Olivia said.

"Hey, Liv," Carisi said, popping his head back inside the door. "We may have something. Amanda just got a call from the hospital where Brandi worked and—"

Olivia stopped him before he said too much in front of Alex. She was sure Alex couldn't be involved, but she also knew in cases like this, the person's partner or ex is the first person looked at for a reason.

"Why don't you tell me on the ride back to the squad room, Carisi? Alex here is going to meet us in say, two hours?" she said, almost as if a question to Alex, if it gave her enough time to get there.

Alex nodded and Olivia turned back to her.

"Ok, we'll just want to ask a few questions – standard procedure and all," Olivia said, even though she knew Alex understood exactly what "standard procedure" usually meant in these circumstances. "And, I'm going to have to ask you to leave here. Unis are going to search for anything that could be useful … unless you found something that would help."

"No, I didn't," Alex said. "Don't you need a search warrant?"

Olivia cocked her head. She knew that would be Alex's natural response as an ADA, but she also wondered if there wasn't another reason she asked.

"Stone has already taken care of it," Olivia said.

"Stone? Peter Stone? What happened to Barba?" Alex said.

"It's a long story," Olivia said. She looked back to where Carisi was, who had moved back toward the door to make a phone call. Once she saw he was distracted, she moved a little closer to Alex.

"Look, we both know how this looks, Alex," Olivia said. "I know you. I have no reason to think you are involved, but given the year I've had and our friendship … well, let's just say I need to play by the rules here. You understand, right?"

Alex relaxed and nodded. "I do. Thank you, Liv," she said. "Maybe when we clear this all up, we can get dinner and catch up. You can fill me in on this 'long story' with Barba."

"Deal," Liv said. "But if we're talking about why Barba is gone, dinner will need to include strong drinks. Ok, well, two hours?"

"Don't worry. I'll be there," Alex said.

#

"So how do you know…what was her name…Alex?" Carisi asked on the drive back. "Friend of yours?"

"Yeah, she used to be. Or I mean, yes, a friend," Olivia said. "We just haven't kept in touch. She's our old ADA."

"Wait," Carisi said. "That Alex…That's Alexandra Cabot? Like, THE Alexandra Cabot who took on one of the biggest crime syndicates in New York City, got shot, died and came back from the dead having been in Witness Protection?"

"The one and only," Olivia said.

"Wow," Carisi said. "That must have been crazy to have been here then. I mean, it must have been like seeing a ghost when she walked back into that courtroom to testify."

"Something like that," Olivia said, not caring to go into the details that she and Elliot were the only people that knew Alex was alive the whole time.

#

Once back at the precinct, when Fin and Amanda arrived back with Brandi's mother they sat her in a room to rest and make some phone calls. Everyone briefed each other on what they'd learned, including Alex's relationship with Brandi and the information Carisi got from the hospital.

"So, how do you want to handle Cabot's interview?" Amanda asked cautiously. She was innately aware of how protective Olivia had been of Brian. She wondered if it would be the same way with Alex.

"I'd like you to handle it," she said. "The rest of us will observe. She … well, she knows the rules and hopefully will be a bit better cooperating witness than Brian."

Olivia shared a look with Fin then Amanda, all three understanding that was Liv's way of acknowledging she could have handled the Cassidy situation better.

#

After Alex's interview, who answered every question they asked and came across as a cooperating witness, the squad told her she was free to go, but to stick around in case they had more questions. Standard procedure, of course.

"You have time for a drink or do you need to get home to Noah?" Alex asked Olivia quietly before leaving.

"I…" Olivia looked down at her watch. She had time before she needed to be home, but wasn't sure if she should. "Alex, I don't know if…I mean, the case is still open and …"

"Oh, so you're a rule follower now?" Alex smirked.

The look on Alex's face relaxed Olivia and forced a smile from her for the first time all afternoon. She smiled and cocked her head to the side as if to say, "ok."

"Look, I won't keep you long and trust me unless you consider me a suspect, it's fine…we're former colleagues and old friends. There is nothing inappropriate about it," Alex said.

"Exactly which one of us is old?" Olivia said, laughing.

"You have a few months on me, so you, of course," Alex replied.

The two women went to the bar Olivia was used to stopping at – usually with Barba, or Tucker until they broke up. She was glad that it wasn't too busy this particular night.

"Hey Lieutenant," one of the bartenders said when they walked in. Olivia nodded back and made their way to a table; he followed. "The look on your face says it's a bourbon night. Shall I?"

Olivia laughed nervously when Alex gave her a weird look.

"Um, maybe a wine menu?" Olivia said, glancing at Alex.

"Actually, bourbon sounds good to me," Alex said. "I'll have whatever Liv is having."

Olivia nodded and the bartender left to pour their drinks.

"Come here a lot?" Alex teased.

"Not as much as it seems," Olivia said. "But there has been a lot of soul-searching here with Barba over the years. When did you start hitting the hard stuff?"

"I…actually don't much. Liv, I'm worried about Brandi," Alex said. "Before you and Carisi showed up today, I was a mess after I got her mom's phone call. It's just…so unlike her."

The bartender came back with their drinks, quickly leaving. He knew Olivia was usually there to talk business.

"Thank you," Alex said to the bartender. Olivia nodded as a thanks, too.

"That's what we've heard," Olivia said. "So…you and Brandi. I…"

"You didn't know I dated women," Alex said matter of factly, but kind.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I'm not trying to pry. I was just surprised. Though the card we found in Brandi's locker at work makes sense now."

"The card?"

"Bon anniversaire," Olivia said. "And the little squiggly mark. When I saw it, it seemed familiar, but I didn't make the connection."

"Ah, yes," Alex said. "That was in Brandi's locker?"

"Yeah," Olivia said. "So, how long were you two together?"

"About a year. We broke up at the end of January," Alex said.

"And how did that go?" Olivia asked. She hadn't planned to "interrogate" Alex, but she was curious how honest Alex would be with her. Asking for an alternative purpose made her feel a little guilty.

"It was amicable," Alex said quickly, then took a sip of her bourbon. "Anyway, how have you been?"

Olivia noticed Alex changed the subject and also that what Brandi's neighbor described that night didn't sound amicable.

"It's been…well, SVU. It's never boring," Olivia said.

"And Barba?" Alex said.

"He…got too involved in a case," Olivia said. "I don't know that I can really explain it all tonight, but he's good. I just heard from him yesterday actually."

"How's Stone?"

"He's learning," Olivia said, smiling. She knew Alex would understand. "Otherwise, Noah's biological grandmother found him and befriended me and then tried to kidnap him. Cassidy was accused of murder."

"Again? Not another prostitute, right?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. And for what it's worth, he really was innocent. Just…his emotions get the best of him still. But he's grown up a lot."

"Well, it sounds like you've had quite a bit happening," Alex said.

"Never a dull moment," Olivia said. "And you? You said you and Brandi dated for about a year. How did you meet?" Olivia was careful to steer the conversation back that way while seeming natural. Now that she knew Alex was holding back, she felt less guilty about secretly interrogating her friend.

"Actually, it's a funny story. Amber – Brandi's daughter – is one of the kids I mentor at the Boys and Girls Club," Alex said. Olivia laughed imagining Alex in a room full of kids, much less mentoring.

"Anyway," Alex continued, "I ran into them at breakfast one morning and Amber brought Brandi over to introduce me, even though we had met at an orientation for the program, and in the process of explaining this project to Brandi that we were working on, Amber was flaring her hands – she's hand talker – and knocked over my coffee.

"Brandi felt terrible. Insisted to get my outfit dry cleaned, even though I was just in a T-shirt and sweats because it was Saturday morning," Alex said. "I refused, of course, but she was stubborn. The next time I saw her, a couple weeks later at the club, she insisted, via Amber, I let them buy me breakfast or some way to repay me.

"I agreed because she genuinely seemed to want to do it and I enjoy my time with Amber. It turned out, I actually enjoyed my time with Brandi, too," Alex said.

"So, what happened, if you don't mind me asking," Olivia said.

"Oh, everything and nothing," Alex said. "I worked a lot, but so did she. I was ready to commit, but she…well, I think she was ready, but didn't believe that I was ready. She had been pretty independent for a long time and was used to it – I suppose I was too. Truthfully, she was probably right. The more I reflect the more I've come to realize, for a number of reasons, we probably wouldn't have worked. I'm at peace with it, but I still care about them deeply."

"I bet that was tough on Amber," Olivia said. She remembered how hard of a time Noah had understanding when Ed wasn't around anymore. Amber was older, she probably understood relationships a little more, but it may have made it harder.

"It was hard. Devastating for me actually. That was another bone of contention. She was always worried that because I had fallen in love with Amber, that I was just staying with her for Amber's sake. She…had some trust issues. I can't say I blame her after what Amber's dad did. Leaving her while she was pregnant, but then popping into her life every now and then when he felt like it."

"Wait? He was around. We were told he wasn't involved at all," Olivia said, suddenly back in detective mode.

"Well, I wouldn't say he was around," Alex said. "I know she talked to him on the phone a couple of times when we were together. He sent money for Amber once. Brandi didn't want it – put it straight into Amber's college fund."

"Do you know his name?" Olivia said.

"Yeah, but I don't have contact information," Alex said. "Brandi's mom and I gave his name to Rollins earlier."

"OK, well, I'm sure she'll run him down," Olivia said. "And do you think he is involved?"

"I don't know, Liv," Alex said. "I mean, Amber is 8 and a half. He's never seemed to have any interest in them. Other than, like I said, popping in a time or two a year wanting to see Amber. He never caused problems from what I understand."

Olivia nodded and the conversation grew quiet for a moment. The bartender brought another round and then the check. He knew Liv rarely stayed for more than two drinks.

"So, you're not going to ask when…how…I started dating women?" Alex said.

"Well, that's your business Alex," Olivia said. "I figure if you want to share, you will."

"I really only figured it out sometime after getting back from the Congo," Alex said. "One of my colleagues there was bi-sexual and just shared a lot of her experiences, how she knew, when she knew, the struggles she faced professionally and personally."

"So, do you consider yourself bi-sexual?" Olivia said.

"Oh, no," Alex said. "I'm a lesbian through and through. It just took me a little longer to get there and accept. I've always accepted it in others, but accepting it for myself was harder because, well, I always followed the rules and played into the heteronormative lifestyle that is flung upon everyone at birth."

Olivia nodded.

"It really made me think a lot about…some of my past…relationships/friendships and interactions," Alex said, taking a sip of her drink and watching Olivia's reaction carefully.

Olivia tensed up. She wasn't sure, but she had a feeling Alex was talking about her when she mentioned past friendships and interactions. Though, she wasn't sure they needed to have that conversation.

"Have you ever…well, I guess I've just wondered, as I've looked back…" Alex was trying to find the words but was failing.

"Alex…I don't think now is the time to…talk about the past," Olivia said.

"So you did feel something?" Alex said firmly.

"Alex."

"Liv."

Olivia sighed. "It was a long time ago," she said. "But…yes. I did feel something, but … things were different then."

"Have you ever dated a woman?" Alex asked.

"You know, I don't know this is what we came here to talk about," Olivia said.

"Liv, I know you," Alex said. "You can't be uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality or bi-sexuality or anything else."

"I'm not uncomfortable with it," Olivia said defensively. "And yes, I have been out with women on occasion. But it's been a long time. And whatever you're asking, whether we had feelings for each other…that was a long time ago, too. And I think by the fact that we're having this conversation answers the question.

"Besides, my squad is literally investigating you," Olivia said. "This conversation can't happen."

"I thought I wasn't under investigation," Alex said. It was her turn to be defensive.

"I said we don't consider you a suspect, but Alex, I know about the fight you and Brandi had before you broke up," Olivia said. "It didn't sound exactly amicable."

"So…you that's why you kept asking about our relationship? Did you only agree to come here to question me?" Alex said.

"No, Alex," Olivia said, sighing loudly. "But you did lie to me."

Alex finished her drink and stood up, putting some cash down on the table. "I didn't have anything to do with this."

"And I believe you," Olivia said.

"But don't leave town, right?" Alex said. "I know, standard procedure."

Alex rolled her eyes and left the bar, leaving Olivia alone.

* * *

 _I KNOW. It's not what you want. But we'll get there soon enough. Trust me. Also, if you're new to my stories...surprise! I love angst :-) (But I also like happy endings.)_

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: We're not there yet, but again, think of it as an episode when the payoff comes at the end. Thanks for the continued encouragement._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 3**

 ** _The following morning_.**

"Hey, Lieutenant, this is Andrea Adams. She worked with Brandi at the hospital for a few years. Andrea, this is our Lieutenant, Olivia Benson," Carisi said.

"Thank you for coming in, though I'm sorry it's under these circumstances," Olivia said.

"Nice to meet you," Andrea said.

"Andrea worked at the hospital up until about two years ago. She and Brandi worked together about five years before that and have kept in touch since," Carisi explained.

One of the staff members he'd already talked recalled Brandi and Andrea had been friends but had forgotten initially since Andrea didn't work there anymore. Carisi had spent most of the evening trying to track Andrea down, and she agreed to come in during the morning.

"Great," Olivia said. "If you don't mind to take her to the conference room. We'll get you something to drink, too, if you'd like. You can start without me, but I'll be right over in just a minute."

Carisi nodded and took Andrea to the conference room. Olivia headed back to her office to grab her phone and a notepad. When she picked up her phone, she noticed a text message from Alex.

 _A: Liv, I'm sorry I left in a huff last night. I know you're only doing your job._

Olivia took a sigh of relief. She had been upset for how things ended with Alex the night before, especially after their moment of finally acknowledging their past.

 _O: Alex, no need to apologize. I know you're under stress because someone you care about is missing. I shouldn't have taken advantage the situation. Look, after we find Brandi and this is done, I'd really like for us to have that dinner and catch up._

 _A: Done. Please let me know if I can help in any way with Brandi. I don't want to interfere, but if I can be helpful, I will. I'll try to find Amber's dad's contact. Thanks, Liv._

 _O: Despite the circumstances, it really is good to see you, Alex._

 _A: Thanks. You too, Liv. :-)_

 _O: You know there are emojis for those now._

 _A: Fine. *insert eyeroll emoji*_

Olivia laughed at Alex manually typing that out. She smiled and now feeling better about Alex, grabbed her notepad and phone and joined Carisi and Andrea.

"Sorry it took me a few minutes," Olivia said.

"Don't mention it," Carisi said. "Andrea was just telling me how she and Brandi became fast friends at the hospital when she transferred from another hospital. Brandi was the only person to befriend Andrea."

"That sounds a lot like the Brandi we've heard about," Olivia said.

"It is," Andrea said. "She's really the best and I need you to find her."

"We're doing everything we can," Olivia said. "Tell us about your relationship with Brandi."

"Well, like I said, when I transferred to the hospital I didn't have a lot of friendly faces. I'm painfully shy and awkward and have a hard time making friends. Brandi made an effort, always had a smile and well, just took me under her wing. She was friendly with everyone, but as we got to know each other, she told me she had a hard time really connecting with the people there. She was very private at work, but when we spent time together other times, she opened up a bit. I think she had trust issues."

"That's what I've heard," Olivia said, recalling Alex's words. Carisi gave her an odd look, not knowing where she'd heard that.

"You and Andrea seem close," Carisi said.

"We were," Andrea said. "But we were just friends. I mean, I know you're probably wondering since she's a lesbian. But there was never anything romantic or like that. I think the fact that we both felt different was why we connected, bonded."

"What do you mean different?" Olivia asked.

"Well, while a lot of the other staff, and well, there was a lot of women in our department, most of them talked a lot about their boyfriends or husbands or who they were screwing in the janitor's closet," she said. "Even in this day and age, people there just rarely talked about anything other than their heterosexual relationships."

"And you?" Carisi asked.

"Well, I'm asexual, so I often have a hard time fitting into any community. People don't understand, don't think it's real, think I just haven't met the right person. Brandi eventually made me feel comfortable enough to share that with her. She accepted me. I never told anyone else there."

"It seems like it was a good thing the two of you found each other, then," Olivia said. "It's healthy to have supportive friends and family."

Andrea nodded in agreement.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Olivia asked.

"About 4 days ago," Andrea said. "I was in Jersey for the past week for my sister's wedding and visiting with my mom, but I did talk to her Saturday after the wedding."

"Anything abnormal? Her neighbor told us she was dressed up Sunday evening, like maybe she was going on a date. Though, I think she told the neighbor she was having dinner with an old friend," Olivia said. "Do you know who that might have been?"

"She told me she was going to see her ex on Sunday," Andrea said.

"Would that be Amber's dad?"

"Jerry? I mean, it's possible, but I was talking about Alex," Andrea said.

Olivia and Carisi froze. Alex hadn't share she had seen Brandi on Sunday.

"Alex Cabot?" Olivia said.

"Yes, they dated for the past year. Broke up recently," Andrea said. "It didn't end well."

Olivia took a deep breath and laid her glasses upside down on the table.

"Explain what you mean, 'didn't end well,'" Olivia asked. "Is it … Is it possible…"

Carisi saw Olivia struggling to say the words and jumped in.

"Do you think Ms. Cabot could be involved?" he said.

"I don't know," Andrea said. "I mean, yeah, maybe."

Olivia leaned back, not wanted to hear what Andrea was saying, but knowing she had to listen.

"Brandi didn't really have enemies," Andrea said. "I never met Alex, and she seemed nice enough, but Brandi said she flipped out when she broke up with her. And well, I guess they had some problems leading up to that."

"What kind of problems?" Olivia asked, finally leaning back on the table.

"They got along great except when they didn't," Andrea said. "Brandi said Alex could turn 'icy' when she was angry or jealous. So when they'd fight, it would be pretty intense."

Olivia bit her pen, trying to hold back any reaction. She wasn't wrong about Alex in that regard.

"Look, I don't know that it means anything. I'm not accusing anyone," Andrea said. "I just…I know they increasing argued more at the end."

"Was Brandi afraid of Alex?" Carisi said. "Did Alex ever hurt her?"

Olivia's head snapped toward Carisi. It was a fair question, given the statements, but it took her by surprise. There is no way Alex would hurt a fly.

"She never said that, no, but…"

"But what?" Olivia said, a bit more intense than she meant when Andrea hesitated.

"I just…I'm just remembering some weird conversations we had in the last month," Andrea said. "She was paranoid someone was watching her, or stalking her."

"You think Alex was stalking her?" Olivia said, almost unbelieving.

"No, I didn't say that," Andrea said, picking up on the tone and replying defensively. "She just made a comment one night about how she felt like SOMEONE was following her. But then she played it off like it was nothing."

"Ok, so what else did she say?" Carisi calmly asked, seeing how the questioning was upsetting Olivia.

Before Andrea could answer, Fin popped his head in the room. He'd been watching from outside.

"Liv, can I talk to you a minute?" Fin said.

"Now?" Olivia asked. She was not leaving the interview.

"Yeah, it's important. We got a lead," he lied.

Olivia looked at Carisi who nodded that he had it. Rollins slid in to help and Olivia followed Fin out.

"What do you got?" Olivia asked Fin, who guided them to her office and shut the door.

"Mom got us some contact info for Jerry, Brandi's baby daddy," he said.

"Ok, so is he coming in? What'd he say?" she said.

"Ah, well, we haven't gotten in touch with him yet, but I got someone on it," he said.

"So that's it? You pulled me out for that?" Olivia said.

Fin looked at her for a moment thinking about his words.

"Liv, you know why I pulled you out," he said.

"You think I can't do my job because of Alex? I'm pretty sure I can," she said.

"Cassidy?" he said.

"I would have turned him in if I thought for a second he was guilty – which he wasn't," she snapped.

"Ok, fair enough," he said. "But…"

"But what?" Olivia said. She was beginning to calm down and sat in her chair.

"Alex is … not Cassidy," he said.

She gave him a confused look.

"Just mean, look we both know Cabot didn't do this. And she'd probably agree that less potential for a defense attorney to claim bias, the better," he said, unable to say what he really meant.

Olivia took a deep breath.

"You're right," she said. "And we do need to play things by the rules a little better. After Sheila, Barba, Cassidy, Carisi…"

"Hey, we've all been there," Fin said.

After several minutes passed of Fin telling Olivia what they learned about Jerry, Carisi and Rollins came into Olivia's office.

"How did it go?" Olivia asked.

"We … got some useful information, some leads to go on," Rollins said carefully.

"Wherever the information leads, we'll go," Olivia said.

"Ok, but…you're not going to like it," Carisi said.

Olivia's heart sank. She knew what was coming.

"I think we have to consider Alex a suspect right now, the only suspect at this point," Carisi said.

Olivia clenched her jaw but nodded ok.

"What do you need?" she said.

"Warrants. Search warrants for her apartment, phone, computer and social media," Rollins said. "Andrea talked about some of Brandi's behavior and some specific things about feeling followed, stalked. Since Alex was the last person to see her, and we know they had a tumultuous ending…"

"I know," Olivia said, waving off the explanation.

"I mean, hopefully, whatever we get will clear Alex," Rollins said. "Did you find Jerry?"

"Patrol unit is about to pick him up, just found him," Fin said, showing them a text message.

"Well, get him in here, but in the meantime, I'll call Stone for warrants," she said.

Everyone nodded and left except Carisi, who filled her in on the complete details Andrea gave to them. Some of it didn't sound good for Alex.

Olivia picked up the phone and called Stone, telling him what she needed. He asked if she was sure – it didn't sound like the Alex Cabot he'd heard about. She assured him it was where the evidence was going now and that she suspected, if anything, it would clear Alex.

At least, she hoped.

She pulled her phone back out to send a text, then thought twice knowing any text would turn up in a search warrant. She picked up the phone and dialed Alex's number

"Liv, what's up? Did you find Brandi and Amber?" Alex asked quickly with no greeting.

"Not yet," Olivia said. "But, could you come to the precinct?"

"Sure," Alex said. "Did you find something? Jerry?"

"Um, we have sent someone to talk to him," Olivia said. "But, I need you to come as soon as you're available."

"Should I clear my afternoon schedule?" Alex said, fearing what Olivia was implying.

"It might be a good idea," Olivia said.

"Ok," Alex said. "Is this an official request?"

Olivia paused for a moment. She never wanted to be in this position.

"Liv?" Alex said, growing impatient.

"Yes, it's an official interview request," Olivia said.

Alex sighed. "Do I need a lawyer?" she said.

"Yeah. A good one," the Lieutenant said.

The phone was silent. Olivia wasn't sure for a moment if Alex had hung up or not until she heard a deep breath.

"Fine," Alex said coolly. "I'll be there at 1 o'clock."

 _Click._

No goodbye. Just a click. Olivia hung up the phone and laid her head back in her chair. Alex was innocent; Olivia was sure of it. She just hoped she didn't ruin her friendship with Alex in the course of trying to prove it.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: This chapter isn't very long - but never fear, there will be another update before I got to bed. I just needed to break this up so I can have one chapter that is ONLY the interrogation that you all know is coming. So stay tuned if you're still up. (and some of you may have 2 chapters when you wake up) - P.S. Thanks for all the kind words on this story._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4**

Not long after Olivia hung up with Alex, Fin let her know they had Jerry – Amber's dad – in an interview room.

"What's his deal?" Olivia asked.

"Amanda's talking to him now," Fin said. "But you know, he's 'worried' about his daughter and Brandi. 'What are we doing to find them?' You ask me, it all sounds a little rehearsed."

"You talked to him?"

"For a few minutes until Amanda got there," he said. "I … uh…got a hit on some security footage that Brandi may have been seen very early Monday morning."

"That's great," Olivia said. "That means Alex may not have been the last person to see her."

"Actually, Liv … She was seen in Cabot's neighborhood, just a few blocks away from her apartment."

Once again, Olivia's heart sank.

"Are we sure it was her?" Liv asked, reaching for anything.

"I'm going to see the video now, but my man sent me some screengrabs, and it sure looks like her," Fin said. "But that doesn't mean anything. Anything could have happened on her way home. And I don't yet know if the girl was with her. Whoever took 'em would have had to go back to Brandi's neighbor to get Amber."

Olivia nodded. She didn't like it, but Fin made a reasonable point. "Where are we on any security footage from Alex's apartment complex?"

"You know these high-class people, think you gotta do everything on their schedule. They're getting it, but you know, they're going to need time to prepare it and make sure they don't 'violate' any rights of their other tenants … 'Least that's what their lawyer said," Fin said.

"They called a lawyer already?" Olivia said, rolling her eyes and wondering if Alex didn't have anything to do with it.

Fin nodded. "I should have it soon. I told them we just wanted anything related to Alex or Brandi."

"Well, keep me posted. Alex will be here at 1:00," Olivia said.

"Speaking of that, I think maybe I'll go have lunch about that time," Fin said.

"Don't even think about it," Olivia said, giving him a small smile, the only smile she could force out.

#

12:55 p.m.

Olivia had looked at her watch a dozen times in the last hour before Alex was supposed to arrive. She dreaded it but also wanted to get it over with and clear things up. Of course, more than anything, she wanted to find Brandi and Amber – even if that means treating Alex like a suspect.

And she was.

Olivia was keeping an eye on the squad room, waiting on Alex. Amanda and Carisi were talking to Andrea and Jerry off and on – both of them insisted on staying around until Brandi was found, both were distraught. Everyone was well aware Brandi and Amber had been gone much longer than the typical time police need to find people for a good outcome.

"Got something you need to see," Fin said with a serious look on his face. Olivia knew it couldn't be good. He handed her an iPad with video, which caused Olivia to clinch her jaw with anger. The two of them exchanged a look that said they both feared the worst.

Olivia sighed and then she heard it. Both of them did and immediately snapped their heads to the squad room at the familiar sound of the clicking high heels. Not quietly clicking. The 'I mean business' clicking.

Alex Cabot was in the squad room and on a mission.

"Alex, thanks for coming," Liv said, exiting her office to greet Alex. "Is your attor—-"

Alex didn't let her finish. "You searched my apartment? Couldn't have given me a little professional courtesy that my phone and laptop was about to be confiscated during a phone call?"

"Alex, I—" Olivia tried to explain that she couldn't. She couldn't appear biased.

"Save it, _detective,_ " Alex said, bitterness think and intentionally not using Olivia's name or rank. "Let's get this over with."

"Don't you want to wait for your attorney?" Olivia said, looking around expecting Langan to walk in any minute.

"I don't need an attorney," Alex said. "Because I'm innocent."

"Alex…" Olivia said.

"I know my rights," Alex said. "And I'm willing to waive counsel. Now, can we get this over with because I have real criminals I need to get back to prosecuting."

Olivia closed her mouth tight, to keep from saying something back. She was angry and confuse and was certainly not going to let Alex push her around.

"I'll take you to Interview 2," Rollins said.

"I'll be right there," Olivia said to Rollins, purposely not addressing Alex, who walked off toward the room without Rollins. Rollins quickly followed.

"No attorney?" Carisi said. "I figured Cabot would know better than that."

"Oh, Cabot knows exactly what she's doing," Liv said, watching the blonde all the way to the interview room. "It's a power play. She's trying to tell us she's not worried about it, like it's barely worth her time."

"Yeah, I bet you and Rollins see the Ice Queen in there," Fin said to Carisi, assuming they would question Alex.

"The Ice Queen?" Carisi asked.

"No," Liv said. Both men looked at her to see what she meant. "I'm doing this interrogation."

She picked up a notepad and file from the table and Carisi gave a worried look to Fin.

"You sure about that, Liv?" Fin said. "Or want me to help?" He was hoping she would at least let him in.

"I said **I got this** ," she said more forceful and took off toward the interrogation room.

Now Olivia was the woman on a mission.

* * *

 _A/N 2: I promise, I'll be right back with the next part._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Let's do this! Hold on tight._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 5**

Fin, Rollins and Carisi stood behind the mirror, watching intently as Olivia entered the interrogation room where she intentionally left Alex sitting just long enough to piss her off even more.

The lieutenant closed the door firmly behind her – not a slam, but forcefully – while watching Alex staring her down with icy blue eyes. She tossed the closed folder and note pad on the table, taking her time to sit down.

When she was sitting, the two of them just stared at each other for what seemed like forever to the three detectives behind the glass.

"Are they going to talk?" Carisi whispered.

"Shhh," Amanda said. "Liv's got this."

Back inside the room, Olivia grabbed her notepad and opened it. She clicked a pen and wrote Alex's name and the date in the corner.

"I know what you're doing," Alex said, flatly.

Olivia didn't raise her head but did look up to meet Alex's eyes with no expression.

"You think I don't know all your tricks?" Alex said. "Making me wait. Closing the door like you did. Taking your dear sweet time. What? You gonna turn the heat up next? Put me in the wobbly chair?"

Olivia just nodded with a tiny shrug.

"Well, if you're trying to make me nervous, throw me off my game, it's not working," Alex said. "I can give it as well as I take it."

"Can you state your name for the record?" Olivia said, ignoring Alex's comments. She then looked up and pointed to the cameras. "You're on candid camera."

"So are you," Alex said.

Olivia looked at her, neither of them budging an inch.

"Executive Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot," Alex said, emphasizing her title.

"And how do you know Brandi Cooper and her daughter Amber?" Olivia said.

"I was Amber's mentor at the Boys and Girls Club, and I was in a relationship with Brandi for about 12 months up until the end of January," Alex said.

"Romantic?" Olivia said.

"Yes. Romantic," Alex replied coolly.

After several more minutes of Liv's questioning and Alex's careful biting answers about her relationship with Brandi, they were both growing tired of the game they were playing. Liv decided to cut to the chase.

"When was the last time you saw Brandi and Amber?" Olivia said.

Alex watched her. She knew Olivia must already know the answer or she wouldn't be asking.

"Do you want to know when I last saw Brandi or Amber?" Alex said, trying to get around the question.

"So, it wasn't at the same time?" Olivia said.

"No," Alex said, offering no more information.

Olivia looked at her. Even if she questioned Alex's motives with Brandi – in the heat of the moment, in intense relationships, things happen…she'd seen it too many times – but even so, even if there was some horrible accident with Brandi, Olivia couldn't imagine Alex would ever hurt a child.

But all the evidence was saying otherwise right now, and between Andrea's statements and what Jerry told Rollins what he knew about Brandi and Alex's relationship, they had two solid witnesses who could testify to worrying behavior.

Olivia stood up and began to pace. She was growing frustrated with the entire thing.

"Ok, when did you last see Brandi?" Olivia said.

Alex's eyes followed Olivia as she paced around the room. The blonde knew Liv was getting impatient.

"You seem to have some idea already, so why don't you tell me," Alex said, still avoiding the question that she knew would look very bad for her.

"Answer the question, Alex," Olivia said, raising her voice. She put her hands on the table and leaned forward toward Alex.

"Are you trying to intimidate me?" Alex said. "It's not working."

Olivia was close to losing it and it was driving her crazy. Alex was definitely winning the battle of wills. She stepped away from the table and ran her hand through her hair.

"If you don't want to cooperate, we can just arrest you now," Olivia said. "We have enough evidence for probable cause and witnesses who can talk about your relationship with Brandi."

It was revealing more than she wanted, but she was hoping it would be enough to rattle Alex and let her know how serious things were for her.

It worked and Olivia knew it. She saw Alex tense up a little and take a deep breath that she tried to hide.

"When. Did. You. Last. See. Brandi?" Olivia said. She had her. She knew Alex was about to crack, she had to. She appeared to be on the brink.

Olivia watched as Alex squirmed a bit, no doubt buying time for another answer, excuse.

"I'm going to exercise my Fifth Amendment rights," Alex said, surprisingly staying calm. The right to not self-incriminate.

That was enough for Olivia, she spun around and gave Alex a disgusted look. She stomped over to the window and pulled the blinds, giving a look to Fin that he knew exactly what it meant.

"We should pull her out," Rollins said.

Fin ignored her and walked over to the wall.

"What are you doing?" Carisi asked as Fin hit a button – a button that they knew cut off the camera and speaker.

"Fin," Rollins pleaded.

"Go check on our witnesses," Fin said.

Carisi gave Rollins a look who was trying to decide whether to defy Fin.

"This could go bad and you know it," Rollins said.

"Yeah, it could. And if it does, we're going to need to have Liv's back," Fin said. "Trust me, nothing is going to happen. You don't know Liv and Alex like I do."

The three of them exchanged a look and Carisi and Rollins turned to leave.

"You coming?" Rollins asked.

Fin shook his head. "I'll wait here. Like you said, this could go bad."

Back in the interrogation, Liv's outburst rattled Alex.

"We're going to talk. NOW," Liv said.

"Cameras off?" Alex said.

"Cameras off," Olivia said. "But I really will arrest you if you don't start talking."

Alex's jaw clenched. "You can't seriously think I did this!" she spat.

"I don't know what to think anymore!" Olivia shot back. "You already lied to me."

"I didn't lie to you," Alex snapped.

"You lied to my detective!" Olivia said. "You told Rollins you hadn't seen Brandi in at least a week or more and that it was only briefly to give her back a few things."

"Fine. I lied," Alex said. "But I was there as a courtesy and without an attorney."

"Alex, I don't care about the technicalities right now!" Olivia shouted. "I want the truth and I want to find Brandi. And if you ever gave a damn about her, you'd be helping me right now instead of having me waste my time on you!"

"Screw you!" Alex said. "And how dare you question my feelings for Brandi. Don't you think I'm sick right now knowing her and Amber are out there God knows where?"

"But not so sick that you're not protecting yourself first instead of them," Olivia said.

The words stabbed Alex deep.

"Ok, yeah, I saw her Sunday night," Alex said, standing up and pacing now.

"Just Sunday?" Olivia said.

"We went out for dinner. We had a lot to drink. It was a healing time for us. We got closure."

"And?"

"And she spent the night because I was worried she wouldn't make it home safe," Alex said.

"So what happened?"

"What do you mean? She stayed over. Slept in the spare room," Alex said.

"Really?" Olivia said, disbelieving. "You sure you didn't maybe try to rekindle with her. Maybe even get intimate, take her home the next morning and ask to try again? Then, what? She rejected you – again?"

Without planning it the two women had moved into each other's personal space, staring the other down.

"You're so far off," Alex said. "No, we didn't have sex. Not that who I have sex with has ever been ANY of your business."

Olivia swallowed hard. She hadn't expected that comment, not like that.

"You left with her. We have you on camera going back toward her apartment," Olivia said.

"And?"

"Alex! You were the last person seen with her. You had a bad break up. You had a rocky relationship. She ended the relationship and you didn't want that. You told me that yourself."

"That doesn't mean I hurt her!"

"So, you just walked away?" Oliva said. "From the woman you loved?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I walked away from someone I loved," Alex shot back before she realized what she said, standing just inches from Olivia.

Olivia stared at her, mostly in shock. Of course, she didn't know Alex was talking about her, but it still hurt. She remembered that night at the river. Being so happy, elated Alex was alive before quickly realizing she was leaving for Witness Protection. It was the closest she had ever been to telling her how she felt, or how she thought she felt since she hadn't admitted it to herself yet. But in that moment, she wanted to scream it.

Fighting back emotion from thinking about that night – the night she knew Alex was thinking about too – Olivia turned away, so Alex didn't see. She couldn't let Alex see, not right now. Not in the middle of the investigation.

Instead, Olivia reached into her pocket. The last piece trick Olivia had, something Fin slipped to her shortly before Alex arrived.

When she turned back around, the mood sobered, she nodded toward the table. Alex went to sit and Olivia sit too, both calm for the time being.

Olivia sighed and pulled the box out of her pocket, sitting it on the table.

"Why do you have that?" Alex said.

"You proposed," Olivia said.

"Ok," Alex said.

"That must have hurt … when she rejected you," Olivia said. She said it kindly, knowing it would hurt anyone.

Alex was quiet.

"And then you saw her Sunday. She was dressed up for a date. She gave you hope. She spent the night with you. And then…she rejected you again," Olivia said. "It happens Alex. People snap. People do desperate things when they're hurt."

Alex just watched her, remaining silent.

"Look, just tell us where Brandi is, whether she's alive or dead, and where you have Amber," Olivia said. "You're right, I do know you and I know you'd never heard that child. So just help us out. If you tell us where they are, Stone will take that into consideration. So would a jury.

"You're persuasive, Alex. I'm sure you can convince a jury to have sympathy for you."

By this point, Alex had shut down. Olivia thought she killed Brandi or had hurt her. She wasn't sure what to do with that. She couldn't blame her. The evidence didn't look good, Alex knew that. But she thought…hoped that after everything, Olivia would give her the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, she had lied to Amanda in a moment of panic.

The door to the room opened slowly. Fin stood in the door.

Olivia looked at Alex and the blonde knew what it meant. Rollins came in behind Fin and walked around to the side of Alex.

"Arrest her for kidnapping," Olivia said quietly, eyes never leaving Alex, who was staring as intently at her.

Fin and Rollins sighed. Rollins walked around Alex and pulled out her handcuffs.

"Are those necessary?" Alex asked.

"Yes," Olivia said quickly.

Alex instinctively put her hands behind her back and let Amanda cuff her.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney –"

"I am an attorney," Alex said firmly. "And I already know my rights."

Amanda continued. "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you …" The two of them walked out of the room as Alex looked back at Olivia before walking through the door.

Every part of Olivia wanted to cry. She wanted to believe Alex. She knew she should, but she also knew she was on thin ice with Chief Dodds. One more screw up and she'd be out. She just hoped Alex would be able to fight for herself. She had faith she could.

"You alright?" Fin asked softly.

Olivia shook her head no. "No."

"Well, we got your back," Fin said.

"You get the camera?" Liv asked.

"I did. Technical malfunction," he said. "Will that hurt us?"

"No. We had probable cause before she even walked in the door," Liv said.

"Well, just in case, I got this," Fin said. He held out his phone to show her an audio recording. He'd turned the sound back on after Rollins and Carisi left - he said he would always have Liv's back and that was one way of doing it. Protecting the others, but being able to back of Liv.

She nodded.

"For what it's worth, Liv, I believe her," he said.

"I want to," she said. "But, I'm not sure...and I don't know how to prove she's not guilty."

"Well, if she's innocent, we'll prove it," he said. "And if she's not … well, she must have had a reason."

"Thanks, Fin," Olivia said. "Now, go question everyone again. Let's do some digging on Jerry and Andrea, too since they seem to be the only other people Brandi had any connection to besides her mother. Also, see if Brandi had any secrets. Everyone's got a secret."

"You got it."

* * *

 _A/N 2: Phew. We're done with that. It can only get better from here, right? (evil laugh) No, really, we're turning a corner._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Tides are turning a bit. I don't know if I'll have another chapter before midnight (central time, USA), but if not, I'll get one up during the day tomorrow._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6**

Olivia sat behind her desk. She had her elbow on the desk, pinching the brim of her nose and trying to reconcile the past few days – the Alex she knew versus the evidence.

She knew evidence wasn't everything, having been arrested herself once with DNA evidence that pointed straight to her, albeit a very good fake. And even then, even when no one in their right might should have believed she was innocent, Alex did and even hired Langan to represent her. Of course, Alex never admitted it was her, but after Stabler mortgaged his house for her bail, she knew she didn't have too many other people in her life that could either afford or be willing to risk their home for her. Cragen, Munch maybe, but neither of them would ever hire Langan – they hated him – and told her as much after the case was over.

Eyes closed, she took deep breaths. Olivia just wanted to find Brandi and Amber – preferably alive.

A quiet knock came at her door frame.

"Liv?" Rollins said. Olivia opened her eyes and looked up. She was praying it wasn't more bad news. "Central book has something going on right now. Some crack addict tried to stab an officer, and in the midst of all that mess, a woman there to bail out her son got knocked over in the disturbance. At any rate, it's pure chaos over there right now. They asked us – unless critical – to wait a few hours before bringing Alex over."

Olivia nodded. "Where is she now?"

"Just the cell in the precinct, though I saw her attorney come in so she'll probably be meeting with her in a few minutes," Rollins said.

"Who did she get?" Olivia asked.

"Rita Calhoun."

"Good," Olivia said. Amanda looked around the squad room and closed the door, taking a seat on Liv's couch.

"You know, if you want to talk about anything…" Rollins offered.

Olivia shook her head. "No. It's…well, it's complicated. But people can surprise you sometimes, so we have to have a clear head on this," she said, not that her head was clear in any way. "Fin is right; if she's innocent, we'll figure it out. If she's not, well we have to do our job. And after the past couple of months…"

"I know, you got the Brass breathing down your neck," Rollins said.

"If I had an inch to give Alex, I would," Olivia said. "But if I screw this up, I'm pretty sure I'm out of here, and knowing the Brass, they'll probably try to break up the whole squad. I can't let that happen no matter what."

"Even if Alex never speaks to you again?" Rollins asked.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "I mean, its part of the job. I hope she understands that, but the work we do here – that you all do here – is so important for our survivors and victims and their families. The three of you are the best of the best and damaging the reputation of SVU and risk losing what you all bring to the table isn't worth it – for no one.

"And we both know, I perhaps haven't made the best decisions – at least in the eyes of the higher-ups – the past few months. It would be different if we hadn't just been through everything," Olivia continued.

"You don't have to explain it to me, Liv," Rollins said.

"Anyway, thanks for the update. Let me know when central booking is cleared," Olivia said. "At least it'll delay the inevitable mug shot of her for the press to get ahold of for a few hours – and that's something that's out of our control."

"You should get some dinner," Rollins said. "I know you didn't eat lunch. In fact, I haven't seen you eat since this started."

Olivia just nodded – Amanda was right.

"We're about to meet again with the mom, the friend and the baby daddy. Patrol is canvassing neighborhoods and talking to neighbors again," Rollins said. "We'll find them."

Olivia scrunched her mouth, thinking about where the girls could be.

"I think I will eat," Olivia said. "Let's debrief in an hour on where we are. If I'm not back, I'll check in with you, or you can conference me on. But I shouldn't be much longer."

Rollins nodded and left Olivia alone in her office. After a few minutes, she jumped up, picked up her purse and phone and left the office, sending a text message on the way out. By the time she was down stairs, she got a reply.

 _OMG! I'll see what I can find out. We should catch up soon – it would be so good to see you._

#

Olivia decided to bring her food back with her to eat. Tony's Italian. Seeing everyone else was distracted and busy, she took her bag of food and found Alex sitting alone inside the cell. Liv was grateful the squad room was quiet and deserted as everyone was either interviewing people or canvassing for Brandi and Amber.

Olivia entered the cell, very aware of the look Alex was shooting her.

"Hungry?" she offered, showing the Tony's bag.

"No," Alex said.

Olivia sighed. "I know you probably didn't eat lunch. I mean, I was anxious enough about you coming over here that I didn't … and I wasn't even the one in your situation." She was trying to show Alex that she didn't like this, that she understood how she felt.

Olivia pulled out a small paper tray of lasagna that she knew Alex loved and offered it to her with a plastic fork on top.

"Aren't you afraid I'll stab you with that plastic fork? After all, I'm a dangerous criminal who apparently kidnaps or kills people," Alex said, bitterness dripping from her tone.

"I guess I deserve that," Olivia said. "And no, I'm not worried you'll stab me with the fork. Just eat something, will you?"

Alex took the food and the can of club soda Olivia offered. They both quickly started eating, letting the silence sit between them for a bit.

"I saw Rita on my way out," Olivia said. "I'm glad you got her. She's a good attorney."

"Well, I wouldn't need one if…" Alex stopped herself. She was quick-witted, alright, but she also knew Olivia didn't like the situation as much as she didn't – even if she was angry with her friend at the moment.

They went back to silence again for a bit. Olivia couldn't stop thinking about what Alex said earlier, in the heat of her interrogation about having walked away from someone she loved. Now wasn't the time to ask, but she still wondered about it given the context of what Alex had asked her just a couple nights ago at the bar.

"Alex, I hate this. It's killing me," Olivia said. "I think of all the times you've saved my ass. When I was charged with murder and you hired Langan."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alex said, pretty unbelievingly.

"Ok, well, even still, you voiced your support during that. When Elliot and I perjured ourselves, you literally came back from the dead to save our ass," Olivia continued.

"You didn't have a choice," Alex said.

"When that mother stabbed her husband during an undercover operation…" Liv said.

"Ok, well that, I wanted to strangle you all over," Alex said.

"I'm just saying, you've always supported me," Liv said.

"You forgot about that time I got you and Stabler out of federal lockup," Alex said, smirking ever so slightly.

"Oh, you mean after you left us there all day for no reason?" Olivia said, finally cracking a small smile.

"I figured it would be a good lesson," Alex said.

Both women were a bit more relaxed now and gave each other half-hearted smiles. But mostly, they just had an overwhelming amount of sadness on them. Olivia unable to help Alex and Alex knowing if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't have many other options either.

"Alex, I want to believe you. Every fiber of me wants to, I just…I just wish you would have told me the truth from the beginning and let us figure it out," Olivia said. Alex started to say something, but Olivia stopped her. "No, I don't want you to say anything without Rita here. I just want you to know that – whatever the truth is – my squad will find it and we won't stop looking for Brandi and Amber until we find them."

Alex nodded slightly, and was keenly aware that when Olivia stopped her from talking, the brunette put her hand on top of hers. It lingered there for a moment after Olivia was done talking until they heard some commotion and thought maybe someone was coming by.

Olivia quickly stood up and gathered the remainder of her meal.

"You done?" Olivia said.

"Yes, and here's the fork back. I don't want to get a contraband charge," Alex joked.

Olivia smiled. "Do you need anything else? You've called your office?"

"Yeah, they know I'm out today, but before you do take me over the central booking, if you could give the DA the courtesy to know one of his ADAs is about to be formally charged with a crime, I would appreciate it," Alex said.

"I can do that," Liv said. "And who knows. They're still back up over there, so we're not in a hurry right now. Maybe something will change before then."

"Let's hope," Alex said.

Olivia turned to leave.

"Hey, Liv," Alex said. "Thank you."

Olivia gave her a weird look. "For what? I had one of my officers arrest you."

"For being the best at what you do," Alex said. "It's my one comforting hope in all of this – that like you said, you'll figure out the truth, no matter how it looks right now."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Longer chapter than the others, but hopefully some payoff. It's late, so probably more typos than normal. Sorry in advance, but wanted to get it out for you tonight._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7**

As the squad gathered back together, Olivia read the text message on her phone, feeling a little bit of hope before turning her attention to the others.

"Tell me we have something, anything on finding Brandi and Amber," Olivia said.

"We got her on security video, later Monday morning than the last one. Pick up by a market near her place. She's walking quickly with Amber and looks like something is wrong," Carisi said.

"Ok, this is good, right?" Olivia said hopefully. Carisi didn't anything. "Right?"

"She was with a blonde," Carisi said.

"Shit," Rollins muttered.

"But, we don't know if it's Cabot," Carisi said. "It's hard to tell."

"Give me the video," Olivia said. "Do you have it?"

"Yeah, but I'm telling you Liv, it's hard to make out much," Carisi said.

"Give it to me," Olivia said.

He pulled up the video on the iPad and handed it to her. She watched it through twice, squinting her eyes and zooming in a couple of times.

"It's not her," Olivia said. "I don't know who it is, but that woman isn't Alex."

"You sure?" Carisi said.

"I am certain," Olivia said. "For one, this person is shorter than Alex."

"Yeah, but there's no heel on those shoes," Carisi said. "Alex wears heels a lot so it makes her look taller."

"She's tall, even without the heels," Olivia said. "And two, Alex would never be caught dead in those shoes. They're beat up and just not Alex."

Carisi gave her a funny look.

"She's right," Fin said. "Girl loves her shoes."

"I know it's not much, but I promise you, that woman is not Alex," Olivia said. "The body is all wrong." Olivia had, intentional or not, had studied Alex's body a lot.

"Look, I also got a tip that Andrea has had other issues with women who she was friends with – a woman she became a little obsessed with at her old job," Olivia continued. "Maybe she was jealous of Alex. If Brandi rejected her too, she could have snapped. She doesn't have to have wanted a romantic relationship with Brandi to have wanted her companionship – perhaps even to an obsessive level."

"That's true," Carisi offered. "People become obsessed with celebrities all the time – in love or not."

"Hold up," Fin said. He pushed a few buttons on a tablet and pulled a document up on the TV screen. "Turns out Jerry had a life insurance policy on Brandi taken out in the past few months."

"Why?"

"Insurance guy told me he wanted to have a safety net to care for his daughter in case something ever happened to Brandi," Fin said. "They payout goes to the daughter, of course, but it's still a helluva motivation."

"How's his finances?" Olivia asked.

"Looks clean.," Fin said. "He's a pastor of some church – it's a little extreme – but they seem to take care of most stuff for him – house, car, that stuff."

"How extreme? Extreme enough to have an issue with Brandi's sexuality?"

"I don't know yet," Fin said.

"Ok, we have good leads," Olivia said. "We'll still follow up on the security video, but we need to go back to Andrea and Jerry with this information. Make sure they know they're no longer just witnesses and if they want lawyers, they'll get them. We can't afford to screw this up. I'll have Stone work on some warrants."

"So, we still don't know who did it? If it was any of them," Carisi said.

"Yeah, but at least have more than one suspect now," Olivia said.

A young officer walked up to where they were at the table, anxious to ask a question.

"Central booking said you had a perp you needed to bring over? A VIP?" he asked. "You want me to take 'em on over?"

Everyone turned to Olivia, who took a moment before answering.

"We…have more questions for the suspect," Olivia said carefully. "We've had some new developments so when we're ready, we'll bring the person over if necessary."

The officer nodded and left the squad room.

#

Before joining the interrogations of Jerry and Andrea, Olivia made her way back over to the holding cell Alex was in. The blonde sighed when she saw Olivia. It was time for her to be booked and face the embarrassment of a public mugshot.

"I suppose you're here to take me to my photo shoot," Alex said with a defeated tone.

"Actually, we have a few other things to follow up on," Olivia said. "Can you take a look at this for me? Or well, I guess I should call Rita. I don't want you to feel like you have –."

Alex cut her off. "Just show me," she said, reaching for the tablet. "I trust you're not trying to trick me."

Olivia handed her the iPad and played the video for Alex.

"You think that's me?" Alex said, looking up. "That's not me."

"I know that's not you," Olivia said. "But the average person…"

"Or jury," Alex added.

"Right, the average person may not believe it's not you, given the other evidence," Olivia finished.

"Hm, show them my shoe collection," Alex said. "I'd never wear those shoes."

Olivia smiled. "I know," she said, grinning. "And the body is all wrong. Your boobs are less saggy, too."

Alex smirked and looked up at Olivia. "So, you been checking out my boobs and body, detective?"

"Anyway," Olivia said. "I know it's not you, but someone wants us to think it is. Any ideas?"

"I really don't, Liv," Alex said. "If I could think of anything, I would."

"How much do you know about Andrea?"

"I know her and Brandi were friends," Alex said. "Brandi would get frustrated with her sometimes but I mean, it seemed to just be a normal friendship. Maybe a bit closer than most."

"You ever meet her?"

"Oddly enough, no," Alex said. "I offered many times. I wanted to, especially before … well, before I planned to propose." Her voice grew quiet and she paused for a moment. "Anyway, anytime we were supposed to meet, she always had to work late or had some emergency."

"Why would Brandi get frustrated?"

"Oh, you know, she wanted to spend time with Brandi and she'd be busy and couldn't, or just tired," Alex said. "Or Andrea would complain about someone at work and Brandi would get tired of it; though, in my experience, it seems they both used each other as a sounding board."

"Do you think Andrea was jealous of your relationship with Brandi?" Olivia asked.

"If she was, Brandi never told me or gave me that impression," Alex said. "I'm sorry I can't help more."

"Jerry?"

"Ugh, Brandi didn't like him," Alex said. "He'd try to give her money for Amber, sometimes large amounts, which she never understood because he's like a preacher or something. Anyway, I think she avoided talking to him as much as she could. She never really seemed to give him the time of day or talk about him much."

"He ever make any comments about Brandi's sexuality or her relationship with you?"

"Brandi never said that, but there was one night, she made a comment about 'some people' still not being accepting of LGBTQ people," Alex said. "I don't know who she was talking about, but it could have been him. I think he'd called a few days before that. I know that she would tell Amber not to tell her dad everything about us on the few occasions she'd talk to him, but I just chalked that up to her not wanting Jerry to know everything about our relationship."

"Tell me again about your conversation that last night," Olivia said. "You told me you had closure. What did that mean?"

"We talked about our breakup," Alex said. "I proposed a couple of months before we broke up and well, things just weren't the same after that. She turned me down, said she wasn't ready, needed more time. When she broke up with me, she just abruptly ended it. That's why we fought. She wasn't willing to tell me why, just that it wasn't working, wasn't fair to me to keep me waiting."

"What changed between the breakup and the last time you saw her?" Olivia said.

"She was honest with me," Alex said, sighing. "She … told me that she didn't love me. That she wasn't sure she ever did. It hurt, but she explained that she wanted to. That I made her happy and that Amber loved me and she really wanted it to work for Amber's sake, but that we just wanted different things out of life. She also told me she cheated on me."

"She what?!" Olivia said. She couldn't imagine anyone ever cheating on Alex Cabot.

"She'd made a connection with someone shortly after rejecting my proposal and started spending time with her and I guess, sleeping with her. That was another reason we fought leading up to our breakup. I suspected she was cheating and was just untrusting. So anyway, after the break-up, when I saw her over the weekend, she apologized and told me she had hoped I'd find out so I'd break up with her. That she made it obvious, but I just didn't see it."

"Wow, all of that must have hurt," Olivia said.

"Actually, yes, it did, but it was also kind of freeing," Alex said. "It wasn't something I did. It really was that she just never truly loved me. She didn't like some of the fancy events I have to go to, so really, the thought of being married to someone who may run for DA someday, was a big turnoff to her.

"In the end, we both agreed, like I said, that it wouldn't have worked. That we worked better as friends and she promised to still let me spend time with Amber from time to time because I took more interest in her than her dad," Alex continued. "By the end of the night, it felt like a weight had been lifted."

"And the person she dated?" Olivia said.

"I guess that ended shortly after she broke up with me," Alex said. "Said she felt bad for how it all went down and ended it. It didn't sound like she's had any contact with her sense. I have a name, if you want to track her down, but to be honest, it sounded a lot like a short-lived fling."

"Thank. We'll follow up," Olivia said, handing Alex a pen to write the name down. "Alex, why didn't you just tell me all this to begin with?"

"Tell you – the woman I spent years infatuated with before I realized I was infatuated with you – about how the woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with cheated on me and told me she never loved me?" Alex said. "I was embarrassed. Even if I know it wasn't my fault, it still sucks to acknowledge it to other people. Besides, I knew I was innocent, and that the best detective I know would figure that out soon enough."

Olivia blushed, both at the infatuation comment and the part about her being the best detective Alex knew.

"Do you mind hanging out here a little longer?" Olivia asked. "I can't let you go yet and say you're not a suspect. I mean, I'm sure Rita would argue otherwise, but…"

"Go find Brandi and whoever did this," Alex said, waving her off. "It's not the first time I've spent a few hours in a holding cell."

Both women laughed, thinking about the time Judge Petrovsky held her in contempt and locked her up to teach a lesson.

#

When Olivia returned to the other, she saw Rollins going at Andrea though the window to the interrogation room.

"Just admit it, Andrea, you're in love with Brandi. You were jealous of Alex!" Rollins said.

Carisi filled Olivia in. Rollins rattled Andrea with the knowledge of her other relationship and once she accused her of hurting Brandi and Amber, Andrea started talking.

"I'm not in love with her! I'm asexual!" Andrea said. "Yes, I love her, but as a friend! I'd do ANYTHING for Brandi and Amber. I want to protect them, not hurt them!"

"What did you need to protect them from?"

"I told you, she was being stalked – probably by Alex!" Andrea said.

"So you were jealous?"

"You're damn right!" Andrea said. "She spent so much time with her, but had no intention of marrying her. She didn't love her! She just wanted Amber taken care of."

"So she was using Alex for her money?" Rollins asked.

"No, it's not like that," Andrea said. "Alex cared about Amber. Brandi thought she'd be a good mom and partner."

"So, tell me why you think a woman who would be a good mom would stalk the woman she loved?" Rollins said.

"I…I don't know," Andrea said. "I guess…"

"I guess you were jealous and wanted to blame Alex," Rollins said.

"OK, fine. I was jealous. I didn't like her," Andrea said. "And I don't have a good reason, but I would NEVER hurt Brandi and Amber. Everything I did was to protect them!"

"Everything you did?" Rollins said, pausing and leaning over to Andrea. "WHAT did you do?"

"I want a lawyer."

#

Over with Fin, who was interrogating Jerry, things were going equally as well.

"Listen, man, my boss just wants me to clear up why you needed such a large insurance policy on Brandi," Fin said. "Just looks weird, ya feel me? Once we get it cleared up, we can get you out of here."

"I told you, in case something happened to her – and you never know with her lifestyle – I want to make sure Amber is well taken care of," Jerry said.

"Ok, but you have a good job. I mean, the church takes care of you, right?" Fin said.

"Yeah, but … well, they don't exactly know about Amber, OK," he said. "Brandi was … well, a mistake, a moment of weakness. She was always wanting more, tempting me, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Fin said. "Women these days are a lot more aggressive than they were when I was young. Of course, I wouldn't have minded it too much back then."

Jerry nodded and Fin continued.

"What'd you mean when you said – you never know with her life style – she involved in dangerous stuff?" Fin said.

"Well, I'm sure you know," Jerry said.

"Know what?"

"She's a dyke," Jerry said. "Homosexuals … well, there's just a lot of sin and deviant behavior. I mean, they started the whole AIDS thing back in the day."

"You know straight people can get HIV, too, right?" Fin said. He hated this guy, but still had to keep his feelings in check.

"Yeah, but…" Jerry said.

"So, I take it you didn't approve of her relationship with Ms. Cabot?" Fin asked.

"Alex?" Jerry said. "Yeah, I didn't like it around my kid. She tried to hide it from me for a long time, but I knew."

"How did you know?" Fin said.

"Uh, well, I mean, Amber would tell me things when I'd talk to her," Jerry said.

"I didn't think you talked to her very often," Fin said. "I mean, did she ever come see you?"

"No not really," he said. "Like I said, my church didn't know and well, maybe it was wrong, but I wanted to support her. I do love my daughter. I just don't want her raised in sin."

"Why'd you leave Brandi when she was pregnant?"

"I was afraid. I was working my way up through the church and I was afraid they'd kick me out," he said. "I should have just made her marry me."

 _Made her marry me._ It took everything Fin had not to knock the SOB out.

"Tell me about her relationship with Alex," Fin said. "I mean, that must have sucked to have your ex move from you to some chick. Especially letting your little girl around that."

"It's disgusting," Jerry said. "I tried to tell Brandi that. Told her I'd make an honest woman of her and we'd be a family."

"You wanted to marry her?" Fin said.

"It was only right – after I ran out on her years ago," he said. "Besides, I'd have given them a better life than that Alex could. I mean, sure, she's got a lot of money, but can you imagine how confusing that must be for Amber? To see her mom sleeping, playing house with another woman."

"Alex live with her?" Fin asked.

"Well, I … I don't know. I think she stayed there a lot," he said. "Amber told me."

"Amber said, huh?" Fin said, making a note. "Ok, well, it must have really made you angry when Alex proposed."

"That bitch," Jerry said. "Thinks she's going to take my daughter? Brandi thinks she's going to just forget I exist. I'm pretty sure I was able to give her something no dyke ever could."

"You mean a child?" Fin said.

"Yeah," Jerry said. "I wasn't going to let them get married. Not and keep Amber, anyway. Brandi tried to tell me they broke up, that she wasn't going to marry her, but then I know they still saw each other."

"Oh yeah? You think they were still together?" Fin said.

"I saw them together, right before Brandi went missing," Jerry said. "You ask me, that Alex did it cause Brandi wouldn't marry her."

"When did you see them together?" Fin said.

"What?"

"You said you saw them together right before Brandi went missing?" Fin said. "What day was that?"

"Uh, I don't know, Saturday, Sunday?" Jerry said. "I can't remember. I was just out and saw them at a bar."

"You were at a bar?" Fin said.

"I was just … you know, helping a friend. He needed a ride," Jerry said.

"Ok. I might need his name, you know, just to get you all cleared," Fin said. "What were they doing in the bar? Where was it?"

"O'Connors," he said. "They came in while I was there, had some drinks. Brandi was pretty drunk and they seemed like things were going well. Laughing a lot you know. I think they went home together."

"Why do you think that?"

"They got in the same cab," Jerry said. "I wouldn't be surprised if that Alex took advantage of her. I mean, if she was drunk and she had sex, isn't that rape? Or that's what I'm told. If it were a man, he'd be charged with rape, but we seem to have different rules for the gays."

Fin just nodded. "We'll check into it when we find Brandi," he said. "So, you're sure you don't know where she is?"

"No a clue," Jerry said. "But I want to find my daughter more than anything."

"You know what I think?" Fin finally said. He was done playing. Jerry looked at him, looking for agreement.

"I think you took Brandi and Amber," Fin said. "And I think you set up Alex to make it look like she did it."

"What? No!" Jerry said. "Why would I take them?"

"Well, you gave me a whole lot of reasons," Fin said. "You didn't like her relationship with Alex, or any other woman. You were afraid Alex was going to take your family. The family YOU made.

"So you took them. You got the life insurance policy, so you take care of Brandi and you and Amber are free to live how you want, teaching her about all the perils of homosexuality," Fin said.

"No," Jerry said. "But if I could take Amber away, I would. And the life insurance is in Amber's name. It's all for her."

"Sure, but I bet it could also pay off some of those gambling debts you have," Fin said. "You church know about that?"

Fin had his suspicious confirmed while he was talking to Jerry, when one of his informants sent him a text. Jerry was well-known in the gambling circle. "The preacher" they called him.

"I want a lawyer," Jerry said, sitting up straight.

"Suit yourself," Fin said. "But if something happens to either of them … well, given your opinion on the gays, you may not like your future."

"I didn't hurt that bitch," Jerry said. "But if you ask me, people like her are going to meet their fate someday anyway. 'If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death…'"

"I call your lawyer," Fin said, getting up to leave. "By the way, my son is gay. I dare you to tell me that out on the street."

#

The squad met up after Fin was done. Both suspects lawyered up and they still had no idea which of them took Brandi and Amber.

Just then, Rita Calhoun plowed through the door.

"Why is my client still here if you haven't arrested her?" she said to whoever was listening.

"Rita, we're still figuring things out," Olivia said. "Central booking was backed up."

"So I hear, but they've been cleared for about an hour now," she said.

"Let me get this straight, you want us to arrest Alex?" Rollins asked.

"Of course not, but you can't hold her forever," Rita said. "If you have another suspect, you need to let her go."

Olivia pulled her into her office, away from everyone else.

"Rita, it's ok," Olivia said. "I talked to Alex. She's fine. She gave us some helpful information. She wants us to figure this out, too."

"I bet she's still in the cell, though, huh?" Rita said. Olivia nodded. "Listen, I don't care what Alex told you. I don't care what God himself told you. I speak for Alex and you know better than to talk to her without me. At least let me talk to her before she lets you sweet talk her into talking."

"It wasn't like that," Olivia said.

"I'm sure it wasn't, but I want to see her now and I want you to arrest her or let her go," Rita said. "So, what's it going to be?"

"We'll release her," Olivia said. "But …"

"Don't worry, she's not going anywhere," Rita said.

#

Search warrants were executed on every piece of property Jerry had. Nothing. No sign of Brandi and Amber, but there was a blonde woman that looked a lot like the woman on the video. It was enough to bring her in and pit her and Jerry against each other.

"And?" Olivia asked when Fin came back.

"She said Jerry planned to take them. And that she went there Monday morning. She's the blonde, but she swears Brandi got away from her and ran off," Fin said.

"What?"

"She said Jerry told her she was abusive to Amber and so she thought she was doing something good. That he was going to help Amber and try to make Brandi see the light," Fin said.

"Good God," Olivia said. "Do you believe Brandi ran off?"

"I don't know," Fin said. "She's been pretty straight. Jerry still won't admit to anything."

"Amanda, what was it Andrea said? Everything she did was to protect them?" Olivia said.

"Yeah," Rollins said.

"So, if someone tried to kidnap you and you got away, I mean, you probably wouldn't go home – who would you call?" Olivia said.

"Your best friend," Rollins said. "Who would do ANYTHING to protect you, even hide you."

"Go," Olivia said. "Get Andrea to tell us where Brandi is."

#

 _Midnight._

"Liv, you need go to home," Fin said, popping his head into Olivia's office after a long day and night of searching for Brandi and Amber before finally bringing them home safely.

"I know, but I know Noah is asleep and I just want to make sure we have everything together," Olivia said.

"You've had a hard week, Liv," Fin said. "Finish it tomorrow. Brandi and Amber are safe. They went home with her mom for a few days and Jerry and his friend just finished booking for attempted kidnapping. It's done, Liv."

"Is it?" Olivia asked.

"You worried about Alex?" Fin said. Olivia sighed. "You knows you were just doing your job."

"But I should have known…"

"You did know, Liv," Fin said. "Deep down. Look, you and Cabot have been through it. I've seen you all fight more than anyone else around here."

"I know, but I think I hurt her this time," Olivia said.

"She's tough," Fin said. "Teflon, remember?"

Olivia smiled remember Munch's nickname for Alex.

"By the way, how's Elliot?" Fin asked.

"Huh?" Olivia said.

"The 'tip' you got about Andrea – from her old workplace? I know that had to come from Kathy. Those nurses leak as much as 1PP," Fin said.

Olivia smiled again. "He's good. They're good," she said. "They want me to come by this weekend."

"You should go," he said. "Tell him I say hello. But that I don't really miss him that much."

Olivia laughed. "I'll be sure to tell him."

Fin left and Olivia gathered her things to go home finally. Before she left, she pulled out her phone.

 _O: Are we going to be ok?_

Olivia waited for a minute. She saw dots and then they disappeared. Then more dots, then gone. It made her nervous waiting, wondering about the book Alex seemed to be writing.

 _A: Yes._

That was it. Olivia was confused why it took so long and so many dots for that. It worried her. Then she got another text.

 _A: We still going to get that dinner?_

 _O: How about Saturday breakfast with Noah and me? Chocolate chip pancakes are on the menu._

 _A: See you then._

Olivia felt relief. She was looking forward to clearing the air with Alex on Saturday. Then she got one more text.

 _A: By the way, I would have arrested me, too._

* * *

 _A/N 2: One more chapter after this. But no worries, I'll write some other things._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Final chapter (then an epilogue)! This was only ever going to be an extended "episode" ... so now it frees me up to look at some old (and new) projects. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8**

The following morning Alex readied herself for breakfast with Olivia and Noah. Despite what she'd been through the past week, she was in a good mood and looking forward the day ahead.

As she headed out the door, she got a text message.

 _O: Could you pick up some whipped cream on your way over?_

 _A: It's been a long time since I've had one of those requests from anyone – and never this early in the morning!_

 _O: *insert eye roll emoji *_

 _A: You know, they make emojis for that? I'll be glad to stop. Heading out the door now._

Alex laughed to herself, turning Olivia's words back on her, then head out the door – with a quick stop for whipped cream.

Half-an-hour later, she was at Olivia's apartment knocking on the door.

Olivia opened the door and saw Alex standing there – yoga pants, T-shirt, hair up – and holding the can of whipped cream. She was beautiful. It flustered Olivia a bit.

"I come bearing gifts," Alex said.

"And to think, all I had to do was ask," Olivia said, then quickly blushed at her own comment. "Here, let's get you inside."

"Wouldn't want anyone talking, now would we?" Alex said, giving Olivia a smirk.

Olivia busied herself in the kitchen making pancakes while Noah and Alex sat at the breakfast bar. Noah was telling Alex all about school and asking questions about who she was, how she knew mommy and whether or not she had a dog.

"Yeah, he's been on the D-O-G kick for a while," Olivia said. "And I don't have the time or space for one."

"I know how to spell doggy, mommy," Noah said.

"Smart one you got here," Alex teased.

"Yes, one of the words he purposely learned to spell so he could put it on his Christmas list," Olivia said. "Ok, who is ready for pancakes!"

After breakfast, Noah busied himself with toys in his room, while Olivia and Alex sat on the couch – close enough to keep an eye on Noah, but far enough away to really talk about everything that has transpired during the last week.

"How is Brandi? Have you talked to her?" Olivia asked. She knew the trauma the woman must have been through.

"She's holding up," Alex said. "And while I'm a little angry Andrea didn't just tell us where she was while I was sitting in that cell, I'm just glad Brandi and Amber are safe and that she got away from Jerry. I can't imagine what he would have done."

"Me, too," Olivia said.

"She apologized to me," Alex said. "Of course, she had no idea Jerry was going to make it look like I took her, or that Andrea would inadvertently throw me under the bus, too."

"How are YOU holding up?" Olivia said. "You've been through a lot too. I mean, aside from being in the cell, going through interrogations, someone you're in love with was missing."

"Someone I was in love with," Alex corrected. "I mean, yes, I love Brandi. But I've come to decide she was right to break up with me. We wanted different things and why put my effort into a relationship with someone who doesn't feel the same way, you know?"

"I do," Olivia said. "But I mean…"

"Yeah, no, I am healing from it all still. This whole thing kind of re-opened those wounds, I suppose," Alex said. "But I'll be fine. I've been through worse than a broken heart."

"You and me both," Olivia said. "So, about that interrogation…"

"Liv, you don't need to do this," Alex said. "I knew what I was in for. I've seen you in action plenty of times."

"Yeah, but…I've never interrogated someone quite like you," Olivia said. "I mean, someone I … cared for like you."

"Well, it wasn't my most favorite of our moments," Alex said. "But it can only get better from here, right?"

Olivia nodded.

"I wasn't exactly a model suspect either," Alex said. "We both probably said things…that we shouldn't have."

Olivia tilted her head back then sat up and took a drink of water. They needed to address the elephant in the room and she knew it.

"When you said…when you said you'd walked away from someone that you loved before…" Olivia was struggling with the words and Alex wasn't biting or helping. Alex wanted Olivia to say it, to not lead her somewhere she didn't want to go.

"Who were you talking about?" Olivia said. "I mean, if you want to share, that is."

"Who do you think I was talking about, Liv?" Alex said, staring intently at her, holding her breath for the answer.

"That night at the river. When you went into Witness Protection," Olivia started. "I felt like my heart was being ripped out and I didn't know why. Is that it? Did you mean me?"

Alex bit her lip and nodded yes. "I did mean you, and I felt the same way," she said. "I didn't really know at the time why. I mean, yes, I'd thought about our relationship before, but … had always just left it in this uncomfortable place. Knowing that my feelings for you then were different than I felt with other friends. It wasn't until I went away – and got away from being Alexandra Cabot – that I was able to explore my sexuality in ways that I never felt free to do before."

"You dated a man in Wisconsin, though, right?" Olivia asked.

"I did," Alex said. "And to be honest, it was a reflective thing. Once I started realizing that maybe I had romantic feelings for you – and looking back at other relationships with women previously – it scared me. I pushed myself into that relationship to show myself I was wrong for what I was thinking.

"And it worked for a while. But when I came back for the Connors trial … when I was around you again that night.." Alex scrunched her shoulders up. She was baring everything to Olivia and it made her nervous. "It only confirmed what I had been fighting. That I had feelings for you and that leaving you was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do because of those feelings. Because we never got a chance to explore 'more.'

"And when I came back to New York … well, we both know I didn't handle that well. It was sudden and unexpected and I just wanted to jump at the chance of being myself again. When I was Alex Cabot again, it's like everything I'd discovered about myself went out the window – like I couldn't be a lesbian and Alex Cabot. No one here knew that person.

"So once again, I forced myself into something I wasn't. It's why I got together with Robert and agreed to marry him … it's why I avoided you and SVU. Because I knew the minute I saw you, after having processed and discovered all this about myself, I wouldn't be able to stop it – even if feelings had changed."

Olivia sat quietly, stunned to say the least. She'd never seen Alex so open and vulnerable – and the things she was saying somehow filled in all the blanks and questions Olivia had. Why Alex hadn't called when she got back. The feeling at the river that night. The tension between them the night in the hotel and just every interaction they'd had, well, forever.

"I…I had no idea," Olivia said.

"I'm not asking for anything from you, Liv," Alex said. "God knows I'm not in any place right now to do that. But, I feel like you deserved to know and telling you has lifted this huge burden off me that I feel like I've been carrying around for damn near 20 years. I hope it's ok. I don't need to know how you feel or felt, I should say. Don't feel under any obligation to tell me you felt the same. I'm not questioning your sexuality. I'm just telling you how I got to where I am – comfortable in my own skin of who I am – and how you helped me get there. I'll be forever grateful for that."

"Of course…of course it's ok," Olivia said. "I … I guess I can't say part of what you're saying doesn't sound familiar. I certainly have questioned things between us, but…"

"But you're straight?" Alex asked carefully.

"That's not what I was going to say," Olivia said. "Yes, I've said that before, but I like to think I've progressed a little since then. I mean, I definitely agree that sexuality no longer has to be black or white. I certainly thing people who choose to be with whoever makes them happy.

"But that said, it's been a long time since we've been there," Olivia said. "Our lives are … completely different. We've both experienced a lot. I feel like when I get to see you, like nothing has changed, but in other ways … I feel like I don't even know you because so much time has passed, because we see each other so little."

"So let's change that," Alex said. "And I don't mean romantically. Let's be friends again, Liv. Actually friends that spend time together and talk and check in on each other's lives. Like I said, God knows I'm not in any place to get involved with anyone … but I would like to be friends."

Olivia smiled. "I'd like that, too," she said.

#

 _Six months later_

Alex came over to Olivia's apartment on Sunday morning. It had become somewhat of a routine for them to have breakfast either Saturday or Sunday – usually pancakes with Noah.

"I bought whipped cream," Alex said. "I noticed last weekend you were nearly out and I figured you hadn't had time to get more with the week you've had."

Alex paused to look around. Noah wasn't there and Olivia was making omelets that looked like they included vegetables - bit different fare than their normal weekend breakfasts.

"Where's Noah?" the blonde asked.

"A playdate," Olivia said. "So, I figured we could expand our typical breakfast menu this morning."

"Oh, well, what am I supposed to do with this?" Alex said, pointing to the whipped cream.

"I'm sure we can find some use for it later," Olivia said, smirking slightly at Alex before turning back to the skillet.

Alex bit her lip. Olivia had been flirting somewhat relentlessly for the past few weeks, despite having never said one word about their conversation six months ago. Alex had assumed up until recently that perhaps Olivia either wasn't interested in her, or not interested in women period.

Alex sat at the bar while Olivia finished up breakfast. "When are you ever going to let me take care of breakfast?"

"You did a few weeks ago – we all went out and you insisted on paying, remember?" Olivia said, even though she knew Alex meant cook.

"I mean cook for you and Noah," Alex said. "You always do the cooking … come to think of it, for nearly every meal we have when it's not take-out or going out."

"I'll let you cook … when I decided Noah needs a fire safety lesson and I can have the firefighters on standby," Olivia said, trying to hide her laughter.

"One time, Liv!" Alex said. "I started a fire ONE TIME in my kitchen. Grease fires are very common, you know."

Olivia chuckled and Alex rolled her eyes at the brunette.

"You know, I cooked for Brandi and Amber all the time when we were together. In fact, just last week, Amber came over for a visit and I made dinner for us," Alex said.

"How is that going? Seeing Amber sometimes? Is it weird for you and Brandi?" Olivia asked. She had some plans for the day, but she also wanted to make sure Alex really was over Brandi and ready to move forward – hopefully with her.

"It's going ok," Alex said. "Amber is old enough to understand for the most part that I'm not dating her mother anymore and that I'm just an adult who cares about her. That said, I have a feeling I'll probably begin to see less of her."

"Oh?"

"Well, Brandi has started dating again – a couple of months now – and it seems to be going somewhere," Alex said. "It just seems weird to continue too much of that relationship and maybe confusing for Amber who is just getting to know this new woman in her life.

"So we talked about limiting it a bit," Alex said. "I mean, I'll still send birthday gifts and so forth, but the regular time together maybe is moving to a natural end."

"I understand," Olivia said. "It's tough on the young ones, but I'm glad you still have that relationship. How about Brandi? How do you feel about her relationship?"

"Good!" Alex said. "They seem compatible and Brandi seems and looks very happy. Just relaxed, you know. Of course, that could also have to do with having Jerry completely out of her life."

"Well, enough about the past," Olivia said, sitting Alex's plate in front of her. "What would you like to do today? I mean, Noah will be gone for hours, so we should take advantage of it."

"I hadn't really thought about it," Alex said. "I didn't know we'd be free."

"In that case … do you trust me?" Olivia asked, as the continued eating breakfast.

"Of course," Alex said, then quickly wondered what was going on. "Wait, you're not going to make me like go to the gun range or something with you, are you?"

"No, though that would be fun to do someday," Olivia said. Alex rolled her eyes. "I thought after breakfast, we could go for a walk in the park, it's a nice day out. And there was a new boutique I wanted to check out nearby. You know, just a day doing things that Noah isn't too fond of. Grownup things."

"Sounds like a good day planned," Alex said.

"Day? Oh, we have plans this afternoon and evening, too," Olivia said.

"We do?"

"I mean, if you have time," Olivia said.

"I'm all yours," Alex said, smiling.

#

After a day in the park, shopping and eating ice cream, the two ladies found themselves at a double feature of old movies: Casablanca and Citizen Kane.

Olivia had arranged for Amanda to watch Noah after his playdate with a classmate, so he could spend time with Jessie. Amanda insisted she let Noah spend the night so she could get a break. Amanda didn't know exactly what Olivia had planned or what she was doing, but she knew it must be important and wondered if it didn't have to do with Alex's presence a bit more frequent around the squad room after hours now.

Olivia had arranged for their favorites from Tony's Italian to be delivered when they got home and opened a bottle of red wine as Alex put their food on plates instead of cardboard containers.

"I haven't had Tony's in forever," Alex said. "In fact, last time I had it was …"

"In my holding cell?" Olivia said, laughing.

"Yeah, we can laugh now," Alex said. "I promise you, it tastes much better this time."

"Well, just make sure I get that fork back," Olivia said. "After all, you are a 'dangerous criminal' who might attack me with it."

The two women laughed. They could laugh about the situation now, finally, and seemed to have both healed since then.

"More wine?" Olivia said, as she poured herself a third glass.

"I'm good," Alex said. "I've barely started my second glass."

Olivia shrugged and sipped her wine. She was nervous, even though she was sure she didn't need to be.

"You OK, Liv?" Alex asked. "I mean, by all means, drink as much as you want. Noah is gone, so you deserve it."

"No, it's … it's not that," Olivia said. "I'm just … nervous."

"About what?" Alex said, confused. They'd had a perfect day. She couldn't have asked for a better day to spend with Liv.

Olivia took another big drink then sat her glass down. Alex instinctively sat her down too and pushed her plate farther away. She had a feeling the brunette wanted to say something and wanted to make sure Liv knew she had her full attention.

"You know how I told you after all the Brandi stuff about the night at the river? How it felt like my heart was being ripped out?" Olivia said. Alex nodded. She wasn't sure where it was going, but she hoped she knew.

Olivia continued. "You told me about how you processed those feelings and explored your sexuality. The night you told me all this stuff, that we talked about it, you thought I was going to tell you I was straight. And I mean, you weren't exactly wrong."

Alex's heart sank.

"Wait, I just mean," Olivia said quickly, seeing Alex's face. "Even if I acknowledged my thoughts on sexuality in general had progressed and as much as I believed I'd be open to being with someone who made me happy, no matter their gender, for all intents and purposes, I lived my life as a straight woman – even if I've always known my feelings haven't always fallen there.

"What I'm trying to say is hearing what you went through and thinking back on other relationships I've had with women – especially with you – it's challenged me to be honest with myself. The truth is, I've always been attracted to women. I'm also attracted to me. But I've never really considered giving a relationship with a woman a try. The only person who's ever made me think hard about it, to want it, even if I never said it, was you. When you left…I knew that I missed my chance, that we missed our chance.

"Then when you came back and just … well, ignored me, things never were quite the same," Olivia said.

"I'm sorry about that," Alex said. I was struggling then too with who I was.

"I know and you don't owe me an explanation," Olivia said. "Suffice to say, I just re-wrote our history as much as I could. I moved on and decided just to kind of settle into the life – and sexuality – I had seemingly chosen.

"But, these last several months have been….well, almost like a second chance for us," Olivia said. "When you laid everything out for me, with no expectations and just asked to reconnect, I wasn't sure what would happen. To be honest, I figured we'd just go by the wayside again, like we have other times. But that thought you put in my head – actually, no, it was encouragement, motivation, strength. Knowing you could do this, make this decision, made me think really hard about what I wanted from a relationship … and who I wanted it with."

Olivia stopped for a moment to gauge Alex's reaction – the look in the eyes of the blonde, filled with love, made Olivia's heart stop. She knew it was everything she wanted.

Olivia reached down and took Alex's hand. "Alex Cabot, what I'm trying to say – what I've been drinking extra liquid courage to say – is will you go out with me? Will you give us a chance, if I haven't waited too long? I want to do this – and I want to do it with you."

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand. "You're sure? You're not just doing this because you think I want it, right?"

"I'm sure, Alex," Olivia said.

"OK, but I have one more question," Alex said.

"Anything. Ask away."

This time, Alex reached down for her wine and took a large gulp before moving closer to Olivia. She reached up, put her hand on the side of Olivia's face and seeing the smile on her face, she leaned forward – their lips touching for the first time. The lips she spent hours dreaming about, staring at, wondering what it would be like to kiss the detective.

Their first kiss was sweet and soft, but short.

When Olivia caught her breath, having been taken by surprise, she looked at Alex curiously.

"You had a question?" Olivia asked.

Alex smirked. "I think you just answered it."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Fine. You all win (and I love you for it). But just a one chapter epilogue._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 9**

 _Epilogue. One Year Later._

Alex hurried into SVU having been running late to meet Olivia. It was Saturday morning and Olivia changed their plans at the last minute, but to Alex's annoyance. Her girlfriend had been taking a lot of secret calls and changing plans the last few weeks and it was giving Alex an uneasy feeling, though the sex had been amazing during that time.

Oh, she trusted Olivia completely … but she couldn't help but remember she trusted Brandi, too, while she was out cheating on her. Even still, she felt she knew Olivia better than that. She was just more worried Olivia hadn't grown tired of her.

"Liv in her office?" Alex said to whoever was listening.

"Liv?" Carisi said, raising his head up from case notes he was typing. "She ain't been here today."

Alex took a deep breath then checked her text message. Sure enough, it said SVU at 10 a.m. She clenched her jaw and went to fix a cup of coffee. Maybe Olivia was running late – even though Alex was late herself.

"You say Liv?" Fin said, walking over to where Alex and Carisi were.

"Yeah. She told me to meet her at 10," Alex said, her annoyed tone coming out.

"Yeah, she said something about that," Fin said. "I think she left something for you in here."

Alex sat down her cup and suspiciously followed Fin toward the interrogation rooms. Fin opened the door and put his hand out for her to go inside.

"There is something in here for me?" Alex said.

"Have a seat and I'll get it for you," he said. "Hold tight."

Alex gave him an untrusting look, but did as he said. He shut the door behind her then pulled out his phone.

 _She's here,_ he texted.

"Carisi, why don't we get breakfast," Fin said, returning to the middle of the squad room.

"I just had a donut," Carisi said. "And I want to finish up this report before I do anything else."

"I'm buying," Fin said. "Now, like I said … breakfast."

Carisi wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew enough by his colleague's face to know if he didn't walk out with Fin, he may leave in a body bag. He saved his document, grabbed his jacket and followed Carisi out. They met Olivia in the elevator.

"Hey, Cabot is looking for you," Carisi said. Olivia just smiled and nodded, while Fin pulled him along. The squad room was deserted now.

Alex, alone in the interrogation room, grew impatient waiting for Fin to come back. She walked to the door and turned the handle to go look for him or Olivia.

"What the fuck," she muttered, realizing the door was locked. Now she was really annoyed and any hesitation she had about talk to Olivia about her behavior lately was gone out the door.

 _As soon as she gets here, I'm going to give her a piece of my –_ Alex thought, before hearing the lock turn in the door.

Olivia walked in and shut the door behind her. "Sorry I kept you," she said quietly, as she walked over toward the window.

"Why are we here, Olivia? And why did Fin lock me in here?" Alex said.

Olivia silently made sure the blinds were closed, not answering Alex's questions.

"Liv?" Alex asked, continuing to grow impatient.

"I'm just making sure we have privacy," Olivia said, taking a seat across from Alex.

"Why? So you can interrogate me again?" Alex said. "Trust me, once was enough."

"I was thinking something a bit more fun," Olivia smirked.

Alex looked around the room. Door shut. Blinds drawn.

"Oh, NO WAY!" Alex said. "I don't know what has gotten into you but THAT is not happening. We're far too old for that now."

"So, you've thought about it?" Olivia smirked, mostly just teasing Alex at this point.

Alex blushed and looked down.

"Wow, counselor," Olivia said. "You mean, all those times I was in here interrogating perps, maybe even getting a little physical with them at times … you were thinking about … getting physical yourself?"

"Liv, stop," Alex said. "Yes, I've thought about it, but that was a long time ago and I know that can't be what this is about."

Olivia cracked a smile. "You're right. It's not," she said. "Although…"

"No," Alex said.

Olivia laughed. She reached out and took Alex's hands into hers, grazing her thumb across the top of Alex's hands.

"Alex, I remember the first time I saw you in action in here. I was a little leery about how you would handle yourself, especially with the people we come across. But, from the very first time, you walked in here, full of confidence that I know was all an act, and refused to back down to anyone.

"It was here – this room – that I saw you change right before our eyes. That confidence became real. The compassion for the gray areas we sometimes deal with became apparent. That Ice Queen moniker melted away pretty quickly, though I think Munch was right about something else: No matter what got thrown at you – by the perps, by attorneys, by the DA, by us … a lot by us – you stayed strong, like 'Teflon.'

"We've all had cracks in our armor, and you're no different. You've been to hell and back –," Olivia said before Alex cut her off quickly.

"So have you," Alex said quietly.

"We both have," Olivia said. "You always bounce back. You always keep going. You always keep fighting and speaking for the person who doesn't have a voice otherwise. And yes," Olivia saw Alex start to speak. "We do that here too in SVU. But you literally are the voice. You are the person going into a courtroom and convincing a jury or a judge that this person deserves justice. You've done it here. You've done it in Africa.

"And it's because of that, because of watching you in this room, the place where everything really begins for us, that I fell in love with you – long before I ever knew I was in love with you. This place is where I fell in love with you – and it's the place where you reminded me of my love just a year and a half ago.

"When we were in here, in each other's face, arguing like we have a million times, and you told me in so many words you had loved me. You made me remember, you made me remember how my heart was filled with love seeing you alive – and how it was ripped out watching you leave. I knew then that I loved you. I knew and I forced it away – until that night in here when you opened it right back up.

Olivia paused for a moment, becoming emotional and seeing Alex's breath staggered, holding back her own tears.

"So, while this is probably the least romantic place in New York City," Olivia said, reaching in her pocket, tears starting to fall. "This was the place I wanted you to know how much I love you … and that I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you."

Alex's tears were falling now and her hand was shaking in Olivia's hand. Olivia got up and moved around next to where Alex was sitting, kneeling down and pulling out a small black box from her pocket.

"Alexandra Cabot, I love you and we have wasted entirely too much time running from each other and our feelings. Will you marry me?"

Tears streaming down her face and hand covering her mouth, as she realized what was happening, Alex remained silently – only nodding yes, the only motion she could bring her self to make.

Olivia, hands shaking, took Alex's hand and slipped the ring on her finger – a day she would have never imaged happening the almost 20 years ago when they met.

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and hugged her, still crying into the brunette's shoulder. They were both crying.

"I love you, Liv," Alex said. "Yes, I want to marry you. I can't wait to be your wife. I just … can't believe this is real."

Olivia stood up, bringing Alex with her, arms around her waist. She leaned in and pressed their lips together and kissed the blonde much more firmly than she intended in the middle of the interrogation room.

When she pulled back, she smiled at Alex and wiped away her tears.

"Come on," Olivia said. "We have someone waiting for us."

Alex looked at her curiously. Olivia nodded her head for Alex to follow her out of the room to the squad room where Alex saw Noah waiting by Amanda.

The young boy, bouquet of flowers in hand, walked over to Alex and gave them to her.

"Mommy said you get to be my other mommy now," Noah said, almost as if a question.

Alex lost it again and started crying as she knelt down to Noah's level to take the flowers. She wiped away her tears and pulled Noah in for a hug.

"Yes, Noah, I get to be your other mommy now – if that's ok with you," Alex said.

Noah nodded and smiled. "Yeah, you mommy happy and now I get two mommies!"

Everyone laughed.

After a few minutes, and after Fin and Carisi returned ( _Am I the only person who DID'T know what was going on, Carisi said)_ , Noah walked over the Olivia.

"Can we go to the zoo now?" he asked.

A mischievous grin grew on Olivia's face. "Go ask your mom."

Noah looked at her confused for a moment, before getting it.

"Oh, good grief," Alex said. "This is going to be fun." She shook her head then looked at Noah. "Yes, we can go to the zoo now."

Olivia packed up all her things and thanked her squad for their help.

"Shall we?" she asked, holding a hand out to Noah. Alex took his other hand and they headed off to the elevator.

As the elevator closed on the new family, Amanda scooted over next to Fin.

"Did you ever think those two would be getting married when you started here all those years ago?" she said.

He shook his head. "Nah. I mean, I always figured they had a thing for each other. Probably would have done them both well to figure it out a long time ago and save us all some headaches," he said. "But Munch … he'd say he called it. Maybe not taking this long, but he always knew they were meant to be."

* * *

 _This story has come to an end, but that just means there are more stories to tell. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -_ rileyclocks _!_


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